Thursday Backpasses: I don’t, that’s for sure

Guillermo Barros Schelotto won the MLS MVP today. Of course, if you only went by the MLS/ESPN marketing department, then you have no idea who this is [MLS Net]
Hearts player, sidelined since mid-October, felt obliged to travel to Ghana so he could prove his injury. Says it was to save his family from harm [Eurosport]
Gallas trying to talk himself into a January transfer? [Eurosport]
Walcott’s injury=transfer kitty money for Arsenal (which will go unused) [Soccernet]

And, finally:
Rafa’s going to Real. Book it. Done [Sky Sports]

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Backpasses and ü75.

This Is Too Good Not To Share

Ah, sometimes the Internet Gods are so good to us, we wonder what we’ve done to deserve it. Today perhaps it was our opting not to put up a post with the title “De La Dead Is More Like It… Am I Right?” Anyway, here’s some outtake goodness pilfered from the folks over at Davie Brown Entertainment (and I guess Gillette).

We’re not sure what’s more awesome about this: the fact that Tiger Woods can’t be bothered to work with Federer and Henry (okay, probably just scheduling, but still…), that Henry needs to be told to smile when shaving or that, holy shit, it also stars Charlie in full Green Man get up.

Anyway, anyone who has ever worked in production can probably confirm that commercial shoots are indeed as boring, awkward and soul-sucking as they appear in this footage.

Tip of the hat goes to friend of UF, Adam (and to the little utility that let me rip the embedded video from the DBE site).

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Green Man and Roger Federer and Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods.

We Don’t Want to Rule the World. We Just Want to Piss Off the Brits.

Bernard Laporte contemplates his master plan.

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on England and The NY Kid and france and utter complete stupidity.

Official - Norwich Fans Are The Sexiest!

Well one is at least. Yesterday, Hugh Jackman was voted the sexiest man ALIVE by People magazine. The Hollywood actor is also a Norwich fan! Nice one Hugh.

So how did this happen? Isn’t Hugh an Aussie? Yes, indeed he is, but it turns out that his mother is from Norfolk and Hugh is a follower of the super Canaries.

What a turn up for the books. Norwich-supporting celebrities are usually dull, C-list AND to be quite honest, not very sexy at all. Delia Smith ( I love her anyway), Stephen Fry, Mylene Klass (kinda sexy), Justin Hawkins from the Darkness, some fella from Blue Peter, Simon something, Herbie Hide, Cathy Dennis, Trigger from ‘Only fools and Horses’, Mike Bassett, England manager and some farmer called Tony Martin who became a minor celebrity after shooting a couple of burglars in the middle of the night…No, they weren’t from Ipswich.

But now we have a superstar amongst our ranks and a sexy one at that. Could this change the way the world views the fine City of Norwich? Can we expect Hollywood superstars to turn up at Carrow Road for a home game with Burnley? Not likely, but it’s nice to know that the World’s sexiest man supports a team that plays the sexi… oh wait that’s right.

Damn!

-Bigus.

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Bigus Dickus and Norwich City fans and hugh jackman and sexy people and wolverine is a yella.

Lets play the great William Gallas blame game!

William Gallas seems to be blamed for everything wrong at Arsenal so it’s only fair that he gets the blame for everything else too.

Its easy to do, when things aren’t going as planned, blame Gallas!

I had a cold Kebab last night, must have been Gallas’ fault.

This morning my bacon sandwich came with red sauce instead of brown, clearly Gallas’ fault.

The credit crunch is affecting everyone at the moment, I blame Gallas.

I’ve got a very painful headache, why did you give me this pain Gallas?

My Dad bought crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth, he blamed Gallas.

Catch my drift?

Keep it Goonerish………………

Written by Wrighty7 on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Football-Player.

Vote for us (please)

In what may become a daily reminder, we have been nominated for Best Blog by USSoccer.com. You can vote once a day in each category. We would appreciate it if you voted for us.

Best Blog
All Categories

To vote, click on the graphic for each category. Thank you!

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Strange Obsessions and UF tells you how to vote and begging and ü75.

Change, Not Being Short-Changed

In the third of our dislocated troika of posts on corporate crime and the corporate media, we have a statement to make…

You should trust the BBC.
It is an Institution.

The other day, BBC News 24 kept repeating a mantra to me, numerous times every fifteen minutes on an eternal tape loop of hyperreal news: “Its official! Prices are falling!”
Accompanied by images suggestive of a festive splurge to save the immense number of businesses that are doing the decent thing, and waiting until January before keeling over, the consumerist message was clear.

But it was a lie.
Prices are not falling.
The rate of inflation fell to 4.5% from the previous month high of 5.2%.
Instead of addressing the volatility in the rate of inflation and the invalid pricing mechanisms that allow oil to be now trading at virtually one-third of its summer highs, the BBC lied to those threatened by the impact of numbers.

As I reeled from this corporate journalism, the following news item told me that “John Sargent has the right to win Strictly Come Dancing.”
The right??
The BBC wouldn’t be fiddling the figures again, would they?

Meanwhile, in Africa, child soldiers with their western-made ‘kiddie-weapons’ - nice and light - are butchering one another in the most dreadful realities away from the reality-lite lenses of the BBC.
All we ever get on Africa is Mugabe and Darfur.
Colonial revenge journalism of the worst kind.
The narrative never goes back far enough to address the structural reasons why the countries of Sudan and Zimbabwe are ungovernable. These structures were put into place by the British in the imperial divide-and-rule template.
Read Ryszard KapuÅ›ciÅ„ski “The Shadow Of The Sun” or watch Al-Jazeera.
Forget the BBC.

We also get given international piracy and the ‘theft’ of the Sirius Star.
How much coverage does the BBC give to the theft in the Niger Delta or Angola?
Corporate theft is fine, thank you very much…
If these ‘pirates’ showed such ingenuity in the City of London, it would be termed ‘innovative’ and a fine example of ‘free enterprise’, and a bonus would be in order.

Somalia is a failed state thanks to the US/Ethiopian assault also, strangely, not worthy of mention on the BBC.
The ‘pirates’ that have been caught attempting to ply their trade look desperate.
The hyperreality presented to us is not an acceptable narrative.

In the midst of all these fake realities, the BBC foisted ‘Children In Need’ on us, without anybody making the really obvious point that, if the children dressed up as derivative traders, the government would look after them without the need for charity.
Why do the British so hate their children?

Gordon Brown, along with all other supporters of a boom and bust economy, is trying to rewrite history so that his fingerprints may no longer be found over the files marked ‘Recession’ and ‘Depression’.
When Slackjaw was first presented with the vestiges of power, he released democratic control over the level of interest rates by giving the Bank of England total power over this vital lever of the economy.
While Slackjaw promised us ‘no more boom and bust’, his policies were deliberately developing this very market cycle type. Central bankers love boom and bust because, overall, it is financially more rewarding for all involved in the financial sector.
Within government, Slackjaw exacerbated the cyclical hyperrealities by rampant public spending (good) and the private finance initiative (very bad).

Now, having thrown £500 billion at the banking sector, and, to the point of puerility, having told anybody who was willing to listen that he had nothing to do with this ‘global crisis’, we need to deconstruct the Slackjaw Scam.

As the Economist stated: “His bid to disavow all responsibility for Britain’s economic plight is another brazen intellectual heist.”
And then some…

The financial crisis is only global in one sense, everybody is going to suffer in the Depression.
The causes of the crisis were the psychopathic free market shenanigans in those countries that welcomed a neo-capitalist system in either their financial or their housing sectors.
Or both.
The US, Britain, Eire, Spain etc have brought the crisis to everyone else.
The countries least affected currently are the ones who avoided the free market prescriptions of the IMF, the World Bank and World Government.

The Basel II banking rules repeatedly allowed the banking sector to undertake self-regulation.
And still the ruse continues.

Naomi Klein: “First of all, the equity deals that were negotiated with the largest banks and also some smaller banks, representing $250 billion worth of the bailout money, this is the deal to inject equity into the banks in—to inject capital into the banks in exchange for equity. The idea was to address the so-called credit crunch to get banks lending again. The legislation that enabled this was quite explicit that it had to encourage lending. Barney Frank, who was one of the architects of that legislation, has said that it violates the act if the money is not going to that purpose and is instead going to bonuses, is instead going to dividends, going to salaries, going to mergers. He said that violates the acts, i.e. it’s illegal. But what we know is that it’s going precisely to those purposes. It is going to bonuses. It is going to shareholders. And it is not going to lending. The banks have been quite explicit about this. Citibank has talked about using the money to buy other banks.
“There’s another piece of this puzzle that is also borderline illegal, which is that in addition to the $700 billion that we are discussing, the $700 billion bailout, there’s another $2 trillion that’s been handed out by the Federal Reserve in emergency loans to financial institutions, to banks, that actually we don’t really know who they’re handing the money out to, because, apparently, it’s a secret. They could be handing it out to a range of other corporations — I think they are — but they’re saying that they won’t disclose who has received these taxpayer loans, because it could cause a run on the banks, it could cause the market to lose confidence in the institutions that have taken these loans. Once again, that represents an additional $2 trillion.
“The other thing that the Fed won’t disclose is what they have accepted as collateral in exchange for these loans. This is a really key point, because, of course, at the heart of the financial crisis are these so-called distressed assets. The value of these assets is enormously controversial. They may be worth very little. So if the Fed has accepted distressed assets as collateral in exchange for these loans, there’s a very good chance the taxpayers aren’t going to be getting this money back. So Bloomberg News has launched a lawsuit in federal court to find out who has received the loans and what has been accepted as collateral, because they believe that this lack of transparency is illegal.”

Joseph Stiglitz: “To too great extent, there has been a race to the bottom in accordance with the myth that deregulation breeds innovation. Instead, the innovation was greatest when it came to getting around the regulations designed to ensure good information and a sound financial system.”
It still is…

Stiglitz: “Financial markets are supposed to be a means to an end - a more prosperous and stable economy as a result of good allocation of resources and better management of risk. But instead, financial markets didn’t manage risk, they created it.”

This week Citigroup sacked 52,000 staff.
Citigroup are looking to use the bailout to takeover distressed banks.
This week, seven Goldman Sachs executives agreed to pass on their annual bonuses as the firm is about to post its first quarterly loss in its history.
No psychopathic market control there, then…

Meanwhile, former Goldman boss Hank Paulson continues to live in an alternative hyperreality: “We have turned the corner in terms of stabilising the system and preventing collapse.”
His partner in crime is not so convinced, as Bernanke thinks that “… overall credit conditions are still far from normal.”

Paulson has hoodwinked democracy.
This unelected investment banker is able to unilaterally determine the direction this handout/bailout/merger and acquisition fund is going to take.
As Congressman Paul Kanjorski said to Hanky: “We are trying to figure out… the 180 degree change you made in policy.”
The Troubled Asset Relief Programme (TARP) was designed to protect the financial sector against toxic assets.
Hanky decided then that the crisis was not one of liquidity but one of solvency.
Hence the 180 degrees…

But Hanky is still missing the point.
As John Authers said in the Financial Times: “But the problems of liquidity and solvency were not mutually exclusive. The liquidity problem remains. With the economy worsening, it becomes harder to raise those troubled assets.”

Hanky has scammed it all the way through…
Naomi Klein, once again: “In a moment of high panic in late September, the US Treasury unilaterally pushed through a radical change in how bank mergers are taxed–a change long sought by the industry. Despite the fact that this move will deprive the government of as much as $140 billion in tax revenue, lawmakers found out only after the fact. According to the Washington Post, more than a dozen tax attorneys agree that ‘Treasury had no authority to issue the [tax change] notice.’”

Gaming the Recession.
Guilty as Charged.

© Football Is Fixed/Dietrological

Written by Football Is Fixed on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Football-Player.

REAL MADRID 2008: MORE NAMES TO SUBSTITUTE VAN NISTELROOY

The Hernán Crespo option has soured, as the Inter player wishes a
contract until 2010 & Real Madrid only wishes a loan until June
2009.

This has lead to speculation, with “Marca” giving the scoop that the
viable option could now be MAURO ZARATE (below) the Argentine
& LAZIO forward. The forward has had a great start to the season
with 7 goals from 11 games & has caught the attention of the big
clubs.

Lazio is considering exercising its buying option as the player is on loan
from Qatar team Al Sadd, which may complicate the Real Madrid
desires.

Another name doing the press rounds is Argentine forward & now
GENOA player DIEGO MILITO. The player is currently the leading
goalscorer in Serie A & knows well the Spanish League as he played
many seasons with Real Zaragoza.

Plenty of names being published & speculation is ripe at this moment.
Stay tuned!

Written by STRIKER on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Transfer rumours and real madrid.

Fabi-oh-so Confident.

Can you feel it? Can you?

Something special is happening to the England team, something unusual. Something that has been missing for a loooooong time. Consistency has returned, bringing its old friend confidence along for the ride. Last night’s win in Berlin was the absolute confirmation that many England fans needed before welcoming the confidence back, the confidence to believe in the England team once again.

Germany 1 England 2. We are back people. Can you f*cking believe it?

Bigus is on cloud nine this morning. Watch out world, here come England!

So what is it that Fabio is doing right? For the most part, this is the same bunch of players that Steve McClown was ruining. Is it just confidence? Well I mentioned before that simplicity is a major factor.

For example, England’s shape has been consistently similar under Capello, even with different personnel. The depth McClaren failed to inspire has allowed for it. Take last night for instance; Walcott’s injury really didn’t affect Capello’s desire to play an out-and-out winger on the right. Shaun Wright-Phillips was ready to oblige. The absence of both Coles was not important either. Bridge took Ashley’s place and Stuart Downing took his opportunity to impress the Italian coach with a solid showing. It was Downing’s free kick that provided John Terry’s winning header.

Depth was also available at the heart of the midfield and up top. Carrick’s performance may make it difficult for the missing Lampard to claim his place back, thanks to his performance that many journalists declared ‘man of the match’ worthy.

Up top, Rooney’s work rate and ability to find space was matched by the impressive Gabby Agbonlahor. England’s depth consists largely from young players with little experience and this is a glowing testament to Capello’s ability to organize and inspire confidence. Agbonlahor, Young, Walcott, Downing are all hungry and will play a large part in England’s future. Others in last nights squad were there to make up the numbers. I cannot see Parker, Lescott or Bullard in the big picture but should injuries strike, it is reassuring that Capello is just the man to get the best from the second best.

Earlier in the week, Capello had shown disappointment and doubt over the numerous bumps and bruises that left his squad short. The exodus of key players to minimal knocks had threatened to render the game with Germany one of no importance. That’s certainly how Premiership managers saw the fixture. But to English folk, a showdown with the auld enemy is an important historic fixture that is always welcomed. One that feeds national pride.

In recent years Germany had inflicted pain on England, winning in the last game at the old Wembley. England returned the favor by stuffing Germany in Munich. Last night’s game was important for a number of reasons. A true acid test of England in the Capello era. Could he dig deep into the talent pool and delver a win in Berlin, with such key players as Rooney, Lampard, Joe Cole and Rio Ferdinand absent? In front of 75,000 taunting Germans? Not only did he answer that question but he did it in style. England looked comfortable for most of the game. Upson poked home to give England the lead after German stopper Rene Adler failed to punch a corner clear. The lead should have been extended in the second half, when the in-form Darren Bent broke through and created an open goal opportunity, only to shank his shot wide of the post. Terry then gave Germany a lifeline as he failed to deal with a long ball and Patrick Helmes nipped in to to slide the ball through Scott Carson’s legs to finish. Lots of players dedicate goals to loved ones and some sick bastards dedicate them to drink-drivers, but Helmes dedicates his goals to the memory of his dead dog. How normal.

England’s determination to win was highlighted ten minutes later when Shaun Wright-Phillips latched onto a ball 10 yards into the German half before dispatching a thumping shot that hit the post from 25 yards. England restored the lead on 83 mins when Captain John Terry headed home the winner from Downings free kick. It was a magnificent header. Terry’s effort handed the Germans their first defeat in Berlin since 1973. Brazil were the victors then and that’s not a bad act to follow.

Capello is now unbeaten in 7 games and has won his last 5, with his only defeat coming in the friendly with France back in March. England sit at the top of their World Cup qualification group and wins in Croatia and Germany have filled the nation with pride, and of course, confidence.

Something special is happening alright, and I for one am as excited as a bar full of woo girls when ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ hits the juke box.

I’ll be enjoying this one for a while dear readers. At least until after lunch. Maybe I’ll go for liverwurst on a Kaiser roll, topped with Colmans mustard of course.

-Bigus.

Written by Darkvader on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Bigus Dickus and England and Fabio Capello and beating the Germans and confidence and happy times are here again.

An Arsenal team meeting is needed and needed fast

In public Arsene Wenger loves to talk up Arsenal having a fantastic spirit and togetherness but behind the scenes it could be a different story altogether.

William Gallas has spoken of an argument he had to spilt up but would not reveal names. Maybe Gallas should not have made this public but it shows that something in the squad is not quite right.

When people spend a lot of time together they can fall out, its human nature. It happens in all walks of life and football is no different.

Maybe its time a team meeting was called. Let everyone have their say and clear the air. Any grievance’s will be sorted and it will bring the squad closer together.

It feels so much better to get things off your chest and I’m sure that it would work for this Arsenal side.

I imagine there is plenty of frustration surrounding the Arsenal squad at the minute, I know that I’m frustrated!

The players hopefully have plenty of anger inside them at present. Getting it out will help a great deal.

Who knows, a meeting could change Arsenal’s season? Maybe Arsene Wenger should try to install a “them against us” mentality into the squad.

Keep it Goonerish…………

Written by Wrighty7 on November 20th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Football-Player.