Arsenal
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Nope, not today.
Boy Howdy. A cracker to end the day. What will Wenger manage considering his recent losses? No Adebayor today, no Fabregas, no Walcott still…
… come Goon with me after the jump.
FULLTIME SCORES FROM THE 10am GAMES:
Manchester City 5, Hull 1
Middlesbrough 0, Everton 1
Liverpool 3, Bolton 0
Wigan 2, Newcastle 1
Sunderland 0, Blackburn 0
—
LINEUPS:
Aston Villa (4-5-1): Friedel, Reo-Coker, Davies, Knight, Luke Young, Milner, Sidwell, Petrov, Barry, Ashley Young, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Harewood, Delfouneso, Salifou, Shorey, Gardner, Osbourne.
Arsenal (4-5-1): Almunia, Sagna, Eboue, Djourou, Silvestre, Song Billong, Denilson, Nasri, Diaby, Gallas, Van Persie.
Subs: Fabianski, Toure, Vela, Ramsey, Wilshere, Clichy, Bendtner.
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)
No Laursen for Villa is a huge concern, but Arsenal are walking wounded at this point so I have no sympathy. Silvestre coming in for a healthy Clichy is definitely bizarre.
We’re ready to start, I’ve got my gigantic turkey/stuffing/ham sandwich, so it’s not all bad. Get the beers in, and let’s see which Arsenal turns up this afternoon.
1 mins: Some early kick-about. If I’m a Villa fan, I’m not happy at seeing Zat Knight duff up the central defense. Still, so much pace moving forward. It’s going to take something titanic from the Arse here. Odds are heavily stacked against, etc.
Early effort for Arsenal as Sidwell and Friedel miscommunicate in front of goal under pressure, but it’s cleared.
4 mins: Milner gets a nice cross/shot in from the right, but Almunia’s equal to it. Ashley Young lurked for the rebound, but he looked offside.
6 mins: Milner wins a corner off Silvestre as it gets all scrappy in the final third. Barry floats it in and Sidwell rocks the crossbar/post with his towering header. Good start for Villa at home, so close to taking the lead!
The commentary team need to stop telling us that Sidwell played at Arsenal back in the late 90s, even winning a reserves trophy with them despite never cracking the First XI. This is no longer an interesting tidbit; it’s a bludgeoning bit of annoyance.
8 mins: More pressure at the Arsenal end as Almunia comes out to meet the long ball with his head just outside the box as Agbonlahor was closing in.
11 mins: A gorgeous deep cross in from Barry via a free kick, and Curtis Davies meets it wide open at the edge of the 6-yard box. His header goes a mile wide. A supremely wasted effort.
14 mins: Lovely play by Arsenal on the break finds Van Persie in the box. His first touch is perfect off the chest, but the giant oaf Zat Knight gets across to snuff out the danger, and in the nick of time too.
16 mins: More desperate defending by the Gooners, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that soccer was played in just one half of the field. A couple of dangerous crosses, a save by Almunia… par for the course at the moment. Arsenal are looking to break but their passing is rather lazy and gifting Villa more possession.
20 mins: Denilson and Sagna aren’t going to take this pressure lying down, and neither’s Diaby; his long ball looks for van Persie but is cleared. Song fouls Barry in midfield, and we’re back down the other end.
Great break for Agbonlahor, and he spins Eboue like a dreidel; his low shot is parried by Almunia, and Sidwell’s follow-up is blocked by Gallas and out for a corner. Nervy times again at the back for Arsenal. The lack of pace possessed by William Gauloises and Emmanuel will be exposed soon enough unless they get some help.
22 mins: More scrambling at the back as Villa seem to get free down the wings whenever they want. Another Milner cross is humped clear at the near post, and Eboue tries to reset the defense. The big problem for Arsenal resides in that crowded midfield; they’re so young and inexperienced and they’re having a tough time keeping possession. The key to stopping Villa is to stop their distribution up to Agbo and Ashley. If the Gooners can hold the ball for more than 3 passes, they have a chance to slow things down. At the moment, it’s end-to-end sprinting and Almunia is keeping them in it.
25 mins: To prove my point almost immediately, Petrov wins it easily from Denilson and is promptly battered by Song, earning Song a yellow card. Villa pour forward once more.
26 mins: Arse flirt with danger via their offside trap as Young gets over the top, but he’s marginally offside. Not much in it at all.
28 mins: The beast that is Friedel is awoken from a rather peaceful slumber by an Arsenal free kick that he fists to safety. Villa break up the left with Young and Agbo combining once more, but Almunia cuts off the final pass and hoists it out of play. The Villa fans are in full song at the moment, and the tackling in midfield is getting later and later from both sides.
Villa have had 6 attempts on goal, 2 on target, and 5 corners. Arsenal have 0s in every category. Sense a pattern emerging? If you decipher those numbers as being indicative of complete and total Aston Villa domination, you’d be right.
30 mins: Ashley tests the offside trap yet again but Sagna’s got it right. Living on the edge, truly. Nasri makes a rare jaunt down the left and is interrupted emphatically by Reo-Coker’s sliding tackle.
33 mins: A foul in the box gives Arsenal a breather and Almunia launches it down the other end. Wenger needs to bring Clichy on at some point, because Milner is in danger of owning poor Silvestre for life.
Gallas does well to cut off Agbonlahor’s sprint down the left.
34 mins: GOAL GOAL GO-ALMOST for Aston Villa. Nasri does a spot of ball-watching as Barry lofts a free kick to the back post, and Milner sneaks in unnoticed. His sliding effort is well saved by Almunia low to his left via the post. Hit the post, bobbled back into Almunia’s arms. Should have been 1-0.
36 mins: Eboue, meet yellow card. Yellow card, meet Eboue. Get acquainted, fellas. He chopped Agbo down on the wing from behind and had no complaints about that one.
37 mins: GO-ALMOST for Villa again! Davies’ hook shot on the right sails over Almunia’s head, and Miguel is helpless as he watches it rattle off the crossbar and away from danger. Third Villa instance of ball-to-woodwork already today.
If the goal were a foot wider, it’s be 3-0. That said, if Grandma had balls, she’d be Grandpa. A difficult first half for Wenger. If he goes to his bench after the break, he’s got nothing but youth to turn to. I can’t imagine Wilshere or Ramsey doing much to stem the tide.
40 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL… Unbelievable, really. The Gooners’ first effort on goal brings them a goal. A lucky bounce frees Denilson in the area, and he does superbly well under pressure to slide the ball between Friedel’s legs and give his side the lead, completely against the run of play and in defiance of the gods, physics, logic, rational thought, and Lady Fortune. Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 1
How will Villa respond? By falling apart, it seems. Suddenly they’re skittish and give van Persie time to stepover and dribble in the box, but RvP’s cross falls to no-one at the back post. Punishment for their profligacy, surely. (And yes, for anyone who’s been mad enough to follow all these liveblogs today, that’s my favourite word at the moment.)
43 mins: I’m speechless. Agbonlahor beats Almunia to the ball in the air and it speeds goalward, but Sagna overhead-kicks it off the line to save Almunia’s bacon. The Gunners live to fight another day!
Song off due to injury, Aaron Ramsey on. He’s in for a dogfight in the middle.
HALFTIME: Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 1
A simply outrageous 45 minutes of football. Villa hit the woodwork three times, Sagna clears acrobatically off the line, and Denilson scored against the run of play with the Gunners’ only scoring chance. What will Martin O’Neill say at halftime?
999 times out of 1000, he misses it. Not today, however!
It’s set up nicely for the second half. If Villa can recover, they could open up a 6 point gap between them and Arse. If it holds as is, they’ll be level once more. Who said the EPL is predictable?
We’re back, and O’Neill must wonder if his team can salvage something. That has to hurt; dominate for 44 minutes, yet still a goal down. I reckon it rates next to going 18-0 but ruining it at the last minute, albeit on a much smaller scale.
46 mins: No subs, and some header tennis in midfield. Nasri gets an inch of space on the left wing, but Milner and Petrov harry him and he gives up the goal kick.
Gauloises punts a long clearance, but Ramsey’s long pass goes right out for the Villa throw. Holding possession is of the utmost importance for the Goons.
48 mins: Barry’s long cross from the right is cleared easily.
GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL and that, my friends, is how to surpass expectations. Delirium for the away fans, as Abou Diaby nips in behind Knight to finish into the top corner. Unbelievable. It was a half-break at best that caught Villa out, and a wonderfully calm finish. Eboue set him loose after some nice play on the right that left Curtis Davies for dust. Villa haven’t done much wrong, and they’re 2-0 down. As I said… unbelievable. Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 2
Diaby gets booked for his Lambeau-esque leap into the away fans after scoring, but do you think he cares?
53 mins: Amid the noise and frenzy, how will Villa respond? Agbo wins a throw on the left but it’s wasted thanks to Young’s cross-to-nowhere. It’s going to take something epic to get them back in this one. For all their possession and early pressure, they look positively lost as to how they should respond. It’s their turn to chase the ball around for a few minutes.
After my shit-talking on the Gooners, this is a hell of a way to respond to their recent troubles. Just when they’re written off, they go and pull this.
55 mins: Should have been three! Diaby does his best Thierry Henry impression in slicing up the middle, passing to Ramsey who has his initial shot blocked, then van Persie gets a sniff and hits the post before his follow-up is deflected out for a corner. Nothing comes of it except for another corner. A third goal would be unlucky for Villa, but really, they should have been 3-0 up before Denilson’s cool finish. Funny game, this. The confidence is all with Arsenal.
Villa clear the 2nd corner as far as Ramsey, and his gorgeous chip finds RvP with space to head home. His header goes a mile wide. Still, Aston Villa are falling apart before our very eyes. It’s Arsenal chants ringing out around Villa Park. How will O’Neill respond? Missing Laursen was more serious than he expected.
59 mins: Agbonlahor squanders possession in the Arsenal box and the Gunners break again. At the back, Villa are like single-ply toilet paper. Diaby gets blocked from shooting but it comes to Nasri who finds Eboue wide open, and his goal-bound shot is blocked at the last second. Curtis Davies the hero that time. One-way traffic towards Friedel’s goal at the moment. Funny what two goals will do to a game.
62 mins: Another Arsenal corner. Villa are confused. I blame tainted half-time oranges. They look more like Tottenham than Top 4.
Agbo gives it up easily again on the right. Villa are a great team when they’re winning, but they never look like getting back into a game when they’re struggling.
Just as I type this, Sidwell gets free down the right and plants it right on Ashley Young’s foot in front of goal, but there’s Bacary Sagna to stick a foot in as Young picks his spot. Superb defending, and a glimmer of life for Villa.
64 mins: PENALTY TO VILLA. Deserved too; he gets caught out by Milner’s long pass and Agbonlahor has a step on him. Gauloises decides to tackle, but hashes it, and Barry has a chance to pull Villa back into it…
… GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL for Gareth Barry from the spot, sending Almunia the wrong way. Emphatic finish, and the crowd’s awake again. Testing times for Arsenal now. A phenomenal match thus far. Aston Villa 1, Arsenal 2
68 mins: Wenger is still miffed about the penalty, but there’s more pressing issues at stake now. 25 minutes to go, and you never want to give Villa way back into the game. Almunia races out to clear a long ball aimed for Gabby down the line.
70 mins: Arsenal look like the Arsenal of the first half all over again. Struggling to maintain possession, and letting Villa come to them. Gabby takes on Sagna down the left, but Bacary wins that round.
Sidenote: I wish Rafa Benitez could buy Sagna. He’s having an incredible game thus far, goalline clearance aside.
72 mins: Arsenal throw men forward again, but their attack fizzles out at the top of the box. Villa break with speed, but no dice. Agbo looks like he got a knock in that from-behind tackle on Diaby, and he gets a yellow card on top of it.
Sagna clears under pressure from Luke Young and the Gunners try to slow things down. It doesn’t work; Sagna’s throw goes right to Young, and when the cross comes in, it misses everyone and falls to Milner, whose shot is blocked at the edge of the box. He crosses in the rebound, and Villa put up a large shout for handball. No dice.
Ashley Young gets loose on the left again, but his cross is met in the middle by Almunia.
76 mins: Simmer down now, fellas, as things get heated in midfield. Diaby is chopped down, and then seconds later, van Persie gets beaten to the ball by Reo-Coker and then tracks him down to take him down. RvP gets a yellow card, the first meaningful thing he’s done in 25+ minutes. Reo-Coker gets one too for his pushing and shoving. Bit silly - not a booking at all for either of them.
78 mins: Sagna’s weak sidefooted clearance falls to Ashley Young in the box, but his floated cross is intercepted by Almunia. Deep breath for Arsenal… just over 15 minutes left.
80 mins: Eboue creates a problem by ignoring Almunia’s call for the ball and trying to clear it himself, but mercifully for him, Gabby fouls on the loose ball and the crisis disappears.
Sagna again with the heroics. Barry gets room to run at the backline, finds Sidwell whose shot is blocked. Ashley Young is lurking at the back post, but Sagna gets across to block the cross. The corner bobbles around in the area, but neither Knight nor Milner can finish. Imagine how dangerous these Villa corners could have been with Laursen in the mix.
Stiliyan Petrov is pissed about not getting a throw-in and gets booked for yelling at the linesman.
Sub for Arsenal: Samir “The Ghost” Nasri on, Gael Clichy on.
Written by Darkvader on December 26th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Boxing Day is the best day ever and EPL and Lingering Bursitis and Liveblogs and aston villa.
Yesterday, it was reported that Cesc Fabregas will miss 4 months with “a knee.” To my mind, Cesc is Arsenal’s first, second and third best player.
Sitting fifth in the table after a disappointing start, will Arsenal finally splash cash on big signings in January? And who stands to benefit from the Gunners’ troubles?
On top of Arsenal’s other struggles, the loss of Fabregas will make the second half of the season that much more difficult. One would expect Arsene Wenger to spend big in the January Transfer window to bring in some experienced depth to protect their VERY lucrative CL spot. However, Wenger’s “Boys Town” strategy defines him. He might well rather finish 5th or 6th his way than claw his way to fourth having brought in grown ups.
Looking at the table, Arsenal are fifth on 31 points. Forget United in fourth; that’s an illusion given their two games in hand. So Villa are three points above the Gunners in true fourth. Below “Boys Town” are Hull, Everton and Fulham. Nothing really scary there, you say? However, consider that Hull grabbed 27 points in their first 18 games. Hull! Who’s to say that an Everton or a Portsmouth can’t make a run? And how many points will Arsenal get in the second half?
Looking further down, it seems that even lowly Tottenham picked the right year to get off to a slow start. Their 19 points after 18 games is pathetic. But that’s only 12 points behind Arsenal and are bound to do much better in the spring. I doubt they’ll catch the Gunners, but that poses the question…
Who is best situated to take advantage of Cesc’s injury on top of Arsenal’s other troubles? Villa is the obvious answer, but who else do you like?
Written by Darkvader on December 23rd, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and autoglass and burning questions and cesc fabregas.
English Premiership
Arsenal 1
LIVERPOOL 1
If there is one thing that will stop Liverpool from claiming their first title in 18 years and finally be ‘back on the perch’, it will be the over-cautiousness of Rafa Benitez and a lack of endeavor from the players on the pitch.
Assuming command and control from his hospital bed, Benitez wasn’t there physically but his staunch belief of ‘suffocating the enemy’ was very well manifested by his team in the awkward-looking grey and red jersey.
With Togolese striker, Emmanuel Adebayor, sent off rather harshly after an innocuous body barge with Alvaro Arbeloa, Arsenal were down to 10 with much of the second half to go yet Liverpool held back and didn’t seemed to have an intent of winning the game.
When Cesc Fabregas, Arsenal’s most creative player, joined several other Gunners (is Tomas Rosicky still there?) in the treatment room after half time, Liverpool should’ve sense blood. They controlled the game well and did decently in stopping Arsenal in playing their beautiful, seamless football.
But it just isn’t enough.
To be still at the top of the table with so many draws is probably contributed by the fact that Chelsea and Man Utd. are also at the same time, dropping points. Just as I’m typing this, I realize Everton did their rivals a huge favour by holding on to a 0-0 draw with Chelsea.
With Fernando Torres out for some time, Liverpool’s firepower was severely weakened and the ‘Goals For’ column isn’t looking pretty for the Reds. Yet it shouldn’t be an excuse for Liverpool to be overly cautious in approach to games.
A point for both teams is, let’s just say, a fair result. But it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth for Liverpool fans, knowing that it was there for the taking but the visitors didn’t really seemed interested.
The match went as how Liverpool always did this season, going behind and then score on a lucky break.
Robin van Persie took his goal well when he finished with aplomb on his right foot. An exquisite goal, all in all.
On the other side of the pitch, take nothing away from under-fire (literally and non-literally) striker, Robbie Keane. The former Spurs striker had a point to prove to both Liverpool fans as well as the Gunners as he rifled home after latching onto a long pass from Daniel Agger.
Typical route one football.
Liverpool dictated the game but couldn’t really find the breakthrough. Then Howard Webb turned the game even more in favour of the away side after sending off Emmanuel Adebayor.
Yet there was a lack of urgency in Liverpool. Rafa Benitez made no attempt to rescue Robbie Keane, who was alone upfront. It took him to the 80th minute on before sending David N’Gog to increase the physical presence up top.
The one flaw of Rafa Benitez would be his substitution and the timing of them. This season we saw a fair share of some really puzzling substitutions and on the hindsight, a lot of them made no sense or purpose.
Even though Ryan Babel had a forgettable outing at the Emirates, somehow he still seemed very under-utilised and his speed and power could’ve been exploited further.
But well, it’s Christmas and we’re still top of the table. Seems like Liverpool’s rival are happy to be giving away points just as they did. We still have yet to see the Reds in full gear so far this season and my hope is that it will be soon or all will be in vain.
Oh, and fortune does favour the brave.
Written by DROGBALLS on December 23rd, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and English Premiership and Liverpool and The Red Cauldron.
Welcome to the Christmas Congestion edition of the UF Monday MarketPlace. We’re back from a week’s hiatus and hoping your portfolio has not suffered in our absence. In any case, let’s get straight down to it.
BUY! BUY ! BUY!
…until we freak out on national television and tell you to sell the kids for food.
Buy Arsenal— Ughh… this is painful to write. But let’s be fair, Arsenal are about the surest bet in English football these days. The relegation zone is like an off campus bar at midnight, one in, one out. Top of the league is a mess. No one wants it. For reliable returns, pick up stock in the Gunners. They’ve tied Liverpool and beat Chelsea, lost to Stoke and Fulham… they’ll beat Villa next week, then lose home to Pompey a couple days later. And you know what? They’ll still be in 4th/5th place. Deny this, you scum, I dare you.
Buy Fulham— Here’s one the MarketPlace got right a couple weeks ago. Number Eight with a bullet, some decent holiday results and the prospect of European football at the Cottage becomes entirely viable. If they can nab 2 or 3 points from their next two (at Spurs, home for Chelsea) and hold on to Bullard through January’s silly season, I’d say Seventh is theirs to lose.
Buy English teams with financial troubles and troubled assets— hold the line just another ten days lads, Juande Ramos is coming to bail you out. Lassana Diarra for £20 million and Portsmouth are considerably better off than a week ago. There’s still blood lingering in the water, but not like we thought. As for the other rumors—too many to list—let’s just say, for me at least, if they want to pay a cent for Roman Pavlyunchenko, Levy should cover the shipping costs.
Buy The New Manager Effect— Ricky Sbragia… Big Sam… Redknapp and Kinnear a bit earlier… It’s happy hunting for new EPL managers this year. So get ready for Man City to explode in late January. Hughes will be out. Three or four high priced international stars in. David Pleat’s postman could pull these guys out of the relegation zone.
Buy Spanish clubs in the Champs League— Villareal get Panathinaikos, Atletico get Porto, Barcelona get Lyon, and Juande gets Liverpool. At least three of the four go through, the latter being the most in doubt.
Sell! For Chrissakes, Sell it all! Light it on fire, just be done with it!!
…until next week, when everything bounces back but your checking account. Sawwrry.
Sell the Beckham-MLS marriage— The end is nigh. He’ll come back from Milan in the spring, but the next trip out will be the last. With all the talk of building the American game, Youth Academies, etc… it comes down to this: the decision to leave Europe was made in haste. About four years too early. Becks thought he was through for England and Madrid, and so he made his move. But a funny thing happened about five minutes after signing up with Alexi Lalas (Lalas!) McClaren couldn’t qualify for the Euros and Capello was forced to put him back in the lineup. Beckham was caught like Juliet standing over dead Romeo.
Sell Mark Hughes— Captain Obvious says: Unless you’re in this for the long haul, it’s time to make the move. Vote of confidence or not. Only a couple days left now…
Sell The Club World Cup— Not good for business when the highlight of your tournament is a split decision between a Fergie press conference and Carlos Tevez’s touchline tantrum. It’s nice for the Asian and South American clubs, but for our Anglo-centric purposes, a complete bummer.
Sell Leeds and Forest returning to the top flight anytime soon— Leeds may be due for some NME now that Gary Mac’s been told to pack, but automatic promotion is out of the question and who-fuckin-knows with a League 1 playoff. Forest are rooted to the near-bottom of the Colaship. Glory days are far off.
Sell English tabloid rumor-mongering / the January transfer window— Some rags are better than others, but there’s reason to expect this January will be any different than the last. No big players or teams make moves of real consequence as anyone of value is cup-tied. For entertainment’s sake, Citeh will do it’s best to nut money on anyone who’ll take it and Juande should be counted on to do some arse-backward stuff with his Real riches.
Sell Gareth Southgate— Nothing to do with this week. Middlesbrough haven’t been terrible. It goes back to the Woody Allen thing about dead sharks.
Sell yer (new) laptops, Ipswich!– Norwich is just gonna send more Cubans to steal them anyway…
Wait! Hold Still! Do Nothing! Freeze Up! We’re confounded…
Hold on Liverpool— The second half at the Emirates was an exercise in waste. Arsenal lose Cesc and Adebayor in ten minutes playing time and how do the league leaders respond? By playing on their heels and leaving Ryan Babel on the bench until the 87th minute, is how. This would be an easy Sell if not for the profligate Chelsea and stuck-in-the-mud United. For the Kop’s sake, Torres better get back soon.
Hold on QPR— Read this quickie from the Beebs: Experiencing boutique football at QPR… The set-up doesn’t seem as unhealthy as the headline might imply. The new manager seems to have an idea of what’s up. The dedication, and better, the cash seem to be there. And still, it all seems kind of sheisty. Or so it seems.
Hold on Djibril Cisse— Buy the form, sell the hair, Bigus says. I’d have to agree. Of course, neither is permanent, so take your chances.
Enjoy Spartak and Everton… we’ll seeya next year!
Written by Darkvader on December 22nd, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Champions League and Club World Cup and David Beckham and Fulham and Juande Ramos and Liverpool and New Manager Effect and QPR and bad hair and silly rumors.
You have to feel for Arsenal defender Emmanuel Eboue.
The Ivorian right back has been mercilessly booed the past few weeks by Arsenal supporters for poor play. His confidence has obviously been shot, as evidenced by his demeanor after being substituted against Wigan a few weeks back.
Now, Eboue wants everyone to know he’ll be back stronger than ever …
“At the moment I am not at my best performances, but I try to give more and do my best when the boss puts me on the pitch. If I continue to work hard in training, then I am confident I can get to my best,” the Ivory Coast international said.
He told Arsenal TV Online ahead of Sunday’s home game against Liverpool: “I do not know why the fans did not back me, but that is football and you cannot do anything about it.
“They pay money to watch Arsenal to win. Then when we do not play well, not give our best performances on the pitch, they are very angry.
“I do not blame them, and I hope they will all come out to support us on Sunday, when we will try to do our best and try to win the game for them.
“I try to forget that now. I was disappointed, but I am happy now.
“After the game, my friends gave me a ring and helped me a lot. The next day in training, I saw the boss and he gave me confidence.
“Now I am feeling very well. I am going to try to give my best every time in training and to get confidence, then if I play in the next game, I will give my best.”
Arsenal’s traveling fans backed Eboue in the subsequent Champions League clash in Porto, which lifted the Ivory Coast international.
He added: “Before the Porto match, I said to myself I was going to do that for the fans because they know me, they know I can give more for the team.
“When we went there, I was very happy because the fans were singing my name - that made me really happy and gave me more power on the pitch.”
MY POV: Poor Eboue! You have to feel for the lad, who’d been injured for a bit before the booing episode. I’m confident Emmanuel will lift his spirits in the coming weeks and be back stronger than ever.
But what’s up with Arsenal’s fans? Talk about giving the word ’supporter’ a new definition … not too much support for their player in that video eh?
Written by Darkvader on December 19th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Emmanuel Eboue and English Premiership and Ivory Coast.
NOT UF’s xmas party (which will be late this year)Christmas is always a weird time in the workplace, mainly because of the holiday parties. Your brain fills with quandaries (or not, if you’re like us): how drunk can I get? What can I say that’s not inappropriate? Will anyone notice if I bed a co-worker? Plus, they don’t always end in kisses under the mistletoe.
While it’s true that not as many companies have been holding them this year thanks to the Economic Meltdownalypsecaust, you can always count on Manchester United to furnish the tired, aching paparazzi with a few good photos.
Last year’s party theme appeared to be “Rape“, while this year they went for “Looking Brain Dead for the Camera.” A wise late substitution.
Even Ade and Willie Gauloises turned out for the fun! The top 3 drunk faces after the jump.
#1: Carlos Tevez.
It was his battle to lose, but there’s a glimmer of sadness hidden in his barely-open eyes. Perhaps it’s a nod to his permanent place on the bench.
#2: Paul Scholes.
An excellent effort from the tiny ginger midfielder. Newly blind and still managing to look put together. Impressive.
#3: Emmanuel Adebayor.
Proof that something Arsenal-related will finish higher than 4th this season. Ade’s perplexed, goofy stupor goes a long way to explaining how wasteful he’s become in front of goal. His mind is clearly focused elsewhere, like fraternizing with Fergie and wondering how Robin van Persie has become the biggest scoring threat at his club.
Written by Darkvader on December 16th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Lingering Bursitis and Photo Essay and christmas parties and manchester united.
WHEN ARSENE DISRESPECTS US WITH HIS TEAM SELECTION, IT MAKES ME SO MAD AAARGH
It’s the final day of the final CL matchday for this year, with plenty of mathematical jostling to determine group winners and runners-up, which is longhand for “figuring out who has to play Barca in the Round of 16.”
Good luck to whoever pulls that poisoned chalice.
Oh, and Norwich are playing Watford tonight as well. It’s all happening!
Will those Canaries shape up and continue their impressive form of the last 5 days? Will Hulk go crazy when faced with so many children in the Arsenal starting XI? Will Alex Ferguson complain about something? Will we ever understand why the Man U game ended up on ESPN2 today? Will Celtic salvage some self-respect and dignity from their dreadful showing in the CL this season?
So many unanswered questions. Let’s find some answers in the comments, shall we?
Come turn green and SMASH with us after the jump.
STARTING LINEUPS:
—–
FC Porto v. Arsenal
Porto: Helton, Fucile, Rolando, Alves, Emanuel, Gonzalez, Fernando, Meireles, Lopez, HULK, Rodriguez.
Subs: Nuno, Stepanov, Guarin, Mariano Gonzalez, Lino, Sektioui, Costa.
Arsenal: Almunia, Eboue, Gallas, Silvestre, Djourou, Ramsey, Diaby, Song, Denilson; Vela, Bendtner.
Subs: Fabianski, Wilshere, Gibbs, Hoyte, Merida, Randall, Simpson.
—
Manchester United v. AaB Aalborg
Man Utd: Kuszczak, Neville, Ferdinand, Evans, O’Shea, Nani, Gibson, Anderson, Giggs, Rooney, Tevez.
Subs: Foster, Park, Vidic, Scholes, Rafael Da Silva, Fletcher, Possebon.
AaB: Zaza, Bogelund, Olfers, Jakobsen, Pedersen, Curth, Enevoldsen, Augustinussen, Risgaard, Due, Saganowski.
Subs: Kenneth Nielsen, Nomvethe, Caca, Braemer, Sorensen, Kristensen, Ronnie Schwartz Nielsen.
—
Celtic v. Villareal
Celtic: Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, McManus, Wilson, Nakamura, Scott Brown, Hartley, McGeady, Maloney, Samaras.
Subs: Mark Brown, McDonald, Loovens, Mizuno, O’Dea, Caddis, McGowan.
Villarreal: Viera, Angel, Fuentes, Rodriguez, Bruno, Cani, Senna, Edmilson, Fernandez, Franco, Ibagaza.
Subs: Diego Lopez, Eguren, Pires, Santi Cazorla, Cygan, Nihat.
—
The draw for the next round is at noon on Friday, December 19. Remember: teams from the same country can’t play each other. I eagerly await Spartak London getting the easiest draw possible. No really, I can’t wait for that.
Written by Darkvader on December 10th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and CL Open Thread and Hulk sighting and manchester united.
Tomas Rosicky is out until “march at the earliest,” making him $7 million well-spent. To be fair, the money was better spent than $20 million thrown into the Robbie Keane experiment.
[ESPN Soccernet]
Written by Darkvader on December 8th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Robbie Keane is crap and UF Quick Throws and rosicky.
Ronaldo knows what it’s like to fall fast
Football is a crazy game these days. The emotional capital on the line every week is staggering. The modern consumer needs a steady hand to guide the way. Unfortunately, that individual has come to the wrong place. This is an American soccer blog, and like Americans do, we suffer our pain in silence, then go out and gamble with other people’s money. (Sub-prime Spurs! Get me every time!)
So without further rabble, we present today the first edition of UF’s Market Guide. What to Sell! What to Buy! And Everything in between…
BUY! BUY ! BUY!
…until we freak out on national television and tell you to sell the kids for food.
Buy Portsmouth:
Make fun of Fratton Park all you like, the AC Milan game was magic. That coupled with white-knuckle ride win over Blackburn is just what they needed. Tony Adams has his first win; now he can build. Harry Who? (Caveat Emptor: they may have to sell the first team’s shin pads for rent money come January.)
Buy TSG 1899 Hoffenheim:
Another impressive win this weekend. Their American educated, trained, nourished striker Veded Ibisevic, who happens to play his international footie for Bosnia (d’oh!) is a scoring machine. With pedigree that likens them to a sort of German Reading, they could go into the winter break atop the league (Caveat: Like Bayern Munich so many years ago, English Reading will host Norwich City this season.)
Buy Antonio Cassano:
The guy’s good on the pitch and (as the intrepid Lingering Bursitis explains) hilarious off it. Like we needed another reason to want to go to Spain…
Buy Emile Heskey:
This is actually a personal message to Redknapp and Levy. Buy him from Wigan in January. Spurs need to someone to link the midfield to their one-touch strikers and Modric isn’t reliable enough.
Buy Chelsea fans:
Like Leprechauns, they exist, but are increasingly difficult to find. The Blues supporter is rare and fantastic entertainment. Alternately despondent, reflective, nostalgic (make it Special again!), and whiny (offside!)… and they’re in first place still, ‘Pool pending.
Buy Maradona:
There is but one inalienable truth in this whole debate. The Argentinian players looooove him. No matter how stupid or perverse he acts (to be fair, he was subdued, naturally it appeared, during the Scotland match) they will continue to love him. And when you’ve got that quality of athlete, a bit of motivation could be more valuable than all the tactics in the world.
Sell! For Chrissakes, Sell it all! Light it on fire, just be done with it!!
…until next week, when everything bounces back but your checking account. Sawwrry.
Sell Real Madrid:
Bernd Schuster is a loss away from the salida, and losing to Getafe on Saturday surely doesn’t help. Also, it looks like Rafa, their top target, is signing a new deal at Anfield, meaning they’re fucked royally in their search for someone new. They might end up with Juande Ramos (silence)(crickets)(a distant scream)…
Sell Roy Keane:
sayeth LB, “Really, you’re almost done. Bolton embarrassed you at home. Bolton! Unless you unleash the feral rage of your playing days instead of this new zen calm you display on the sidelines, you’re looking for a job in January.”
Seriously, LB has a great point. I understand that the guy is mellowing with age, but this is ridiculous. It will end badly. Either as described above, or with a training pitch assault/Joe Kinnear-inspired presser. The prawns are cooked, Roy, just need to toast the bread now…
Sell Paul Ince:
LB: “You should have stayed at MK Dons.” Paul Ince: “I should have stayed at MK Dons.”
Sell “6+5″:
Is it entirely Evil? No. Does it have a chance of happening? No. Platini needs to read up on globalization, etc. Protectionist policies, especially when there are high-end elements of money and nationalism involved, just don’t kick it in the modern world. If the American auto industry can die, French league football can suck a bit more. (no offense, NYK)
Sell American soccer’s ability to pick up on home grown talent:
And to Bosnia, no less. Both Vebad Ibisevic (from Hoffenheim, see above) and Neven Subotic could have been USMNT fixtures for the next decade if the infrastructure in this country wasn’t so convoluted. It’s not like Ibisevic played college ball here. And I guess Subotic would’ve had to sit behind Onyewu anyway… Ugh…
Wait! Hold Still! Do Nothing! Freeze Up! We’re confounded…
Arsenal:
Beating Man U and Chelsea still doesn’t make them solid gold yet. They still had an awful month for the most part. They are lacking in depth, the Gallas situation, injuries, etc… etc…
Capello’s England:
“Well Let’s Not Start Sucking Each Other’s Dicks Quite Yet.” The Wolf had this one scouted out… I’m just saying. The Sun (not the paper) remains at the center of the universe and David Beckham didn’t fall of the edge of the world, he just agreed to play for the Alexi Lalas-led L.A. Galaxy. England will probably fuck this up. So hold tight to your positions.
This Concept!
It’s looking pretty good right now, but we’ve missed out on so much. Go to the comments section and add your own “tips” or do it to us on email and maybe they’ll make the site for next week. Until then… Be Champions!
Written by Darkvader on December 1st, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Cassano and Emile Heskey and Lingering Bursitis and Pulp Fiction quotes and Spurs and TSG Hoffenheim and The Likely Lad and UF Market Madness and blackburn and laughing at chelsea and portsmouth and real madrid and roy keane.
Okay, so we’re already 30 minutes into the Manchester derby, but nobody has scored (yet) so we’ll just pretend we got the jump on the day before there was any action (outside of Swansea v. Cardiff). Chelsea v. Arsenal is the marquee match-up of the day. I’ll be watching it here with my sister the Tottenham fan. They’ve arranged 16 HD screen into one massive display they call the Cuatrotron. Plus it’s where both the Arsenal and Chelsea contingents in Austin have taken to watching the game. Yeah, I know, like you give a fuck about my morning.
And of couse in the three minutes it takes me to write these four sentences fucking United scores. Easy tap in for Rooney. Which as we know from his granny fucking tendencies is what he prefers.
Play along after the jump if you want to say meaningful shit like “Adebayooooooooor!” or “Fuck off Anelka.” Or if you want to tell us what you made for breakfast after dealing with crazy people.
Enjoy the games.
Written by Darkvader on November 30th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Chelsea and EPL and Open Thread.
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