Lingering Bursitis
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Well, if Notts Forest can do it, surely the non-leaguers from Blyth can as well, right?
A spot of afternoon fun following a lazy morning finds the ultimate example of FA Cup mismatches as an amateur team hosts an EPL team that’s not exactly lighting the world on fire at the moment. Big Sam takes his patchwork side to Northumberland, where the pressure will be immense and the pitch will surely be of awful enough quality to make things interesting.
Come join the eventual 7-1 thrashing after the jump.
Lineups:
Blyth Spartans: Mark Bell, Boyle, Pell, Leeson, White, Reay, McCabe, Williams, Gildea, Dale, Dalton.
Subs: Farman, Brown, Hume, Poole, Todd, Wright, Watson.
Blackburn: Bunn, Simpson, Mokoena, Khizanishvili, Olsson, Vogel, Grella, Treacy, Judge, Villanueva, Derbyshire.
Subs: Brown, Andrews, Roberts, Hodge, Gunning, Doran, Haworth.
A fairly experimental side for Blackburn that should still have little trouble with Blyth, but that’s the magic of the FA Cup, see.
4 mins: Little to note thus far; Blackburn’s mish-mash XI are struggling to get with the pace on that non-league pitch.
The crowd’s certainly up for it as they cheer Danny Simpson’s hilarious mis-hit, and the boos are loud every time Blackburn have possession.
7 mins: A heavy tackle by Gary Brown gets the fans cheering. I wouldn’t fancy being one of these Rovers reserves tonight. Carlos Villanueva tries a speculative (there needs to be a more emphatic word) shot from halfway, hoping to catch the keeper out. It drifts well over the bar.
9 mins: Villanueva has another effort from the edge of the box, but it’s not troubling Mark Bell in the slightest.
11 mins: Blackburn are finding rhythm, and it looks simple enough: pass, move, shoot. Keith Treacy forces a fine save from Bell low to his right after a neat build-up. I’ll be the first to tell you that there will be no upset here, on basis of the first 13 minutes. Three good scoring chances, and as good as Mark Bell is in goal, it won’t be long before the first of many Rovers goals.
14 mins: It’s Villanueva time again as he sets Treacy free on goal, only to watch the Irish international shoot weakly at Bell.
17 mins: Blackburn are dominant and are playing every pass in the Blyth half. It’s been nowhere near reserve goalie Mark Bunn’s net as of yet. Another Rovers corner amounts to nothing, but on balance, all signs point to a Blackburn goal shortly.
25 mins: The Blackburn flirtation with scoring continues, but Danny Simpson’s cross from the right is blocked by three different Blyth players.
Whoops, almost a gaffe for Rovers there… Mark Bunn came out to tidy up Aaron Mokoena’s mess as his defender passed it right into Ged Dalton’s path, but the Blyth hero from the 2nd Round hurries his shot and puts it closer to the corner flag than the goal. There’s a lesson about complacency in here somewhere.
28 mins: It’s Blyth’s turn for a bit of pressure as they win a corner or two. For the slow-witted among you, this means they’ve been into the Blackburn half, something they hadn’t managed thus far. Well done, you Blue Square North Conference battlers, you.
33 mins: A nifty run down the right by Alan Judge wins Blackburn another corner, but it’s fizzed across goal to no avail.
GOAL GOAL GOAL GO-ALMOST for Rovers. Matt Derbyshire wastes his bicycle kick as he was offside. A comedy goal, almost; Derbyshire’s bicycle kick skidded off his right foot towards the sideline, only to meet a Blyth defender’s face en route. Off the lad’s face and into the net past a diving Bell, but the flag was up. An uglier non-goal you will never see. The fans loved that one.
Derbyshire then has a chance to atone for it, but his volley doesn’t trouble Mark Bell.
37 mins: And we settle for midfield boredom once more. Blackburn’s second XI look absolutely clueless in and around the penalty area, which is very much like their first-choice side, truth be told. At least the coaching is consistent from top to bottom.
40 mins: The hopelessness continues, although the longer it drags on, the more I’m convinced some North Country voodoo has put an invisible shield around the Blyth goal. A lofted corner to the back post finds Vince Grella, but his volley is somehow kept out despite several chances for the visitors on the rebound. Perhaps it had something to do with the 4 Spartans on the goalline.
43 mins: Blyth push forward via the long ball, but stand-in captain Zurab Khisanishvili gets the better of Shawn Reay.
45 mins: Mark Bell does well under Treacy’s cross/pass from the left, beating Derbyshire to the ball in midair.
Just one minute of added time to follow.
Half-Time: Blyth Spartans 0, Blackburn 0
Despite seemingly continual pressure by the EPL side, it’s scoreless at the break thanks to Mark Bell’s goalkeeping heroics and some dogged, desperate defending. You have to fancy Big Sam’s side to find an opening eventually, but the longer it stays 0-0, the more you must pray and hope for the upset.
47 mins: Back underway, and right there where we were at the end of the first half: Rovers wasting possession with Spartans nipping at their heels, pressuring them like little terrier, or some other plucky animal or dog breed.
Are Matt Derbyshire and Robbie Keane related? The Rovers lad squanders another chance, and Big Sam must be wondering where the goals are coming from. The bench isn’t exactly full of proven match-winners.
50 mins: Villanueva is the next to go close, blasting a shot just wide of the post from 25 yards with Bell beaten. For those of you keeping track at home, it was Blackburn’s 10th shot to Blyth’s one. Still, it’s anyone’s game.
52 mins: Simpson wins another corner after Robert Dale’s last-second block, but it amounts to nothing. Blyth get into Rovers territory and win a free-kick after Martin Olsson uses the Spartan as a jungle jim, and they turn the screws, earning a corner as Rovers get nervous and struggle to clear. Mokoena then steps in late to knock the ball out of Reay’s path with Bunn coming off his line to collect.
Jason Roberts begins his warm-ups as the crowd noise increases and the home fans sense some FA Cup magic in the air.
57 mins: Villanueva, easily the game’s most industrious player thus far, wins a free-kick 25 yards out after skipping past two defenders and getting hauled down from behind. Will this be the breakthrough?
GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and I was right! Carlos Villanueva, about to be subbed out for Roberts, bends the free kick across goal with his left foot, catching Mark Bell unawares. A brilliant, deserved goal. I think that might buy him a few more minutes on the pitch, but it doesn’t as Big Sam makes the substitution anyway. Blyth Spartans 0, Blackburn 1
Another Big Sam substitution: Keith Andrews on, the rubbish Vince Grella off.
61 mins: With the Spartans forced to push forward, Keith Treacy gets space to shoot and volleys just over the bar, aided by a deflection. Trying times for Blyth now; they need to start attacking.
Subs for Blyth: Simon Todd on, Alex White off. Part-timer for newly-signed Part-timer via Stranraer.
Sad that Blackburn’s goal came amid Blyth’s best attacking spell, but them’s the breaks. The crowd’s still urging their side on, and as Gillingham almost proved yesterday, that makes all the difference.
66 mins: Spartans win a free kick as sub Keith Andrews gives away a needless foul on Ged Dalton. Club captain Gareth Williams floats it to the back post, but Matt Derbyshire clears.
69 mins: More desperate defending for Blyth as they prepare for another substitution, but Derbyshire eases the pressure by giving away a free-kick in the Spartans’ penalty areas. 20 minutes to go… COME ON SPARTANS
Sub for Blyth: Andrew Wright on, Ged Dalton off.
71 mins: Some life left in Blyth as they win a free-kick 30 yards out thanks to a strong run by Shaun Reay…
Williams goes for goal, and it is on target; however, an easy save for Bunn.
73 mins: First yellow of the night is shown to Aaron Mokoena for his tackle-from-behind. Those never used to be yellow cards, but it gives Blyth another free-kick in Rovers’ territory. Williams doesn’t get it nearly deep enough and it’s cleared with ease.
75 mins: It’s just not your night, Mr. Andrews. Alan Judge slips past his man on the right, brings the ball to the byline and slides it across the 6-yard-box, but Andrews somehow manages to blast it over the bar from close range. Awful stuff, and the crowd lets him know.
Best chance for Blyth coming down the other end as Simon Todd gets free down the middle, and it requires a perfectly-timed challenge from Mokoena to snuff out the danger. That would have been 1-1, easy. Mokoena then leaps highest to clear the corner, and back down the other ends it goes.
78 mins: More pressure around Blackburn’s goal, and another free-kick deep in Rovers territory. Better delivery from Williams, but Aaron Gildea’s volley goes over the bar.
80 mins: Jason Roberts gets free in the box after some nice skills, but puts his shot well wide of the mark.
83 mins: Blackburn just like to keep things interesting as they let Blyth attack time and again as Shaun Reay’s gorgeous volley is blocked by Khisanishvili at the last minute, this just moments after Khisanishvili headed over from 5 yards out to keep the score at 1-0.
Sub for Blackburn: Brian Hodge on for the awful Matt Derbyshire.
86 mins: How did Blyth not score that?!?! A gorgeous cross from the left by Alex Gildea finds sub Andy Wright at the back post, and he somehow puts his sidefooted volley inches wide of the post with Bunn beaten. So close.
87 mins: Another golden opportunity for Blyth from a free-kick as Williams finds Gildea right in front of goal, but he puts it just over the bar from 6 yards out.
89 mins: Big Sam’s nervously pacing as the Spartans pile on more pressure. A deep throw for Blyth is wasted as Robert Dale fails to control the pass.
90 mins + 1: Close, but no cigar. Dale’s speculative flick loops toward goal, but it’s no trouble for Bunn.
90 mins + 2: Sums up Blackburn’s confidence, really, as Roberts tries to kill clock near the Spartans’ corner flag. Another long ball for Blyth, but Simpson’s there to knock it clear, and that should do it.
Full-Time: Blyth Spartans 0, Blackburn 1
To be fair to Big Sam, his side could have scored 4 in the first half alone, but it was left to a brilliant Villanueva free-kick to separate the two sides. Blyth played a lot better from a goal down, and Andy Wright will be kicking himself for missing a glorious chance to equalize. Still, the Spartans’ dream ends, and Rovers will face Sunderland in the 4th round.
Written by Darkvader on January 5th, 2009 with no comments.
Read more articles on FA Cup and Lingering Bursitis and Liveblogs and blackburn.
So… one team’s let in 9 goals in 2 games, and the other just snuck a point against Arsenal. Who’s your money on this afternoon?
Phil Brown’s on-field dress-down of his rather inept team can have one of two effects. Either they’ll keep performing badly, or they’ll get one of those life-affirming, heroic wins against all odds.
Starting Lineups:
Hull: (4-4-1-1) Myhill, McShane, Turner, Zayatte, Ricketts, Mendy, Garcia, Ashbee, Halmosi, Barmby, Cousin.
Subs: Duke, Doyle, Fagan, Geovanni, Hughes, King, Giannakopoulos.
Aston Villa: (4-3-3) Friedel, Reo-Coker, Knight, Davies, Luke Young, Milner, Sidwell, Petrov, Barry, Ashley Young, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Harewood, Delfouneso, Salifou, Shorey, Gardner, Osbourne.
I am hoping for some goals, and against that Tigers backline, it’s to be expected. No way does Sam Ricketts shut down Ashley Young for 90 minutes.
5 mins: Not a whole lot to report early on. The battle for midfield supremacy is only just beginning.
Defiant against the laws of nature, 138-year-old Nicky Barmby gets the ball out of Friedel’s grip as they challenge for a high ball, and promptly bundles it into the net under pressure from Bald Brad and Mr. Reo-Coker. The ref gives a free-kick to Villa, which on replay is rather unfair. Should have been 1-0. Barmby is unimpressed.
10 mins: The pundits frequently gush about Villa, and rightly so, for their three-pronged attack that’s (gasp) HOME-GROWN! Ashley gets a yard of space on the wing and turns McShane inside out before whipping in a weak cross that gets knocked out for a corner. It amounts to nothing. Still, you have to fancy them coming forward. It’s the stuff of nightmares for a backline as sieve-like as Hull’s.
14 mins: So far, the match is crying out for a hero, someone to kick things into life. It’s not going to come from long balls to Agbonlahor that ends up safely in Boaz Myhill’s hands, however.
David Pleat’s voice is music to the ears, however. Hull have only won 1 of their last 10?!?! 20 points from their first 9 games, and only 7 points from their next 10. News to me, as they’re still in the top 10. It’s a wonderful league where you can fail that much and still look at an outside shot for a UEFA Cup berth.
16 mins: Hull start to find their feet, with Bernard Mendy causing all sorts of troubles down the right flank. His skidded cross misses everything as it flies across goal, with Peter Halmosi just unable to get a toe on it. I dare say this game is coming to life!
20 mins: Villa play the equivalent of forcing a square peg into a round hole, as their tactic of choice involves the long ball. Look, you have three incredibly fast, kinda-fragile players up-front who love the ball at their feet. This lofted pass rubbish isn’t going to work.
Shit, and just like that, the feed has gone. Bear with me, folks, as I place a call to this shady website.
35 mins: Back up-and-running thanks to u75, and it appears I haven’t missed much. Mendy was called offside rather unfairly, forcing some action from Friedel, and that’s about that. Uninspiring stuff at the moment.
As I type that, Ian Ashbee puts a neat ball into the box forcing Curtis Davies to head over for a corner. Barmby wastes it.
David Pleat insists on filling every space with inanity, and I almost wish one of these teams (or both!) would do something to perhaps silence him. Barmby wins another corner on the left via Nigel Reo-Coker’s leg. Barmby takes a rather illegal penalty, not putting any part of the ball in the corner triangle thingy before taking it. He’s done it twice now, and Eagle-Eye Pleat has spotted it and opined at length about how long he’ll get away with this practice.
And yes, the fact that I’m writing a lot about illegal corner-taking practices does indicate that the action’s been rather crap thus far. It’s enough to make me punch a part-time DJ.
40 mins: Pleat suggests that the away team “need some kind of strain” to get going. I wonder if such a strain could be equal to the strain David Pleat puts on the English language.
Sam Ricketts sputters in a weak cross, Villa clear zzzz… uh-oh, trouble for Hull! Steve Bennett is in the mix, giving Zayatte a talking-to as he bundles Gabby down once the striker turned him. Zayatte’s already in the book, and he narrowly avoids seeing the 2nd yellow.
That’s been the biggest event of note thus far. Gaz Baz squanders the free kick and Hull clear.
42 mins: Rather unwatchable stuff thus far, as Villa stick to their gameplan of hoofing it to space and hoping that Agbonlahor can out-sprint everyone to the ball. Yet another Hull corner, and yet another corner wasted. They keep the pressure on around the area, but McShane puts the cross over Friedel’s bar, much to the chagrin of anyone watching this drivel.
45 mins: We will endure a minute of added time, and we will ponder the futility of both sides thus far in what’s possibly been the worst half of football I can remember this season. I feel like I should at least write something on this liveblog, but there’s nothing noteworthy in the game whatosever.
45 mins + 1: Oh look, another overhit cross. Friedel makes a dog’s dinner of this one again, going up for it and then fumbling it right in front of goal. Steve Bennett gives a free-kick as Bald Brad was actually touched by the Hull player this time, but really, we’d be better served watching paint dry.
Half Time: Hull 0, Aston Villa 0
Aaannnd, the feed is gone. I’m quitting on this one. So bad, so awful. Sorry folks, it’s unwatchable anyway, so maybe it’s a sign from some higher power that I’m not supposed to watch this game.
Written by Darkvader on December 30th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on EPL and Hull City and Lingering Bursitis and Liveblogs and aston villa.
Dammit.
Liverpool captain/talisman/Chief of Helping Old Ladies Across the Road Steven Gerrard is being investigated regarding an assault late last night at a nightclub. He’s never done anything like this before, but I suppose it’s never too late to start. 6 other men were arrested shortly after, and one man remains in hospital with facial injuries “not thought to be life-threatening.”
I will now begin my “Free Gerrard and Prove His Innocence” dance until this matter is resolved.
[BBC News]
Written by Darkvader on December 29th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Lingering Bursitis and Liverpool and Steven Gerrard and UF Quick Throws and crime and oh no please don't let this be true.
Should anyone besides insomniacs and security guards be awake this early? If you’re as mad about the beautiful game as I am, then your alarm clock was set ages ago. 16 teams take the field today, and Newcastle/Liverpool will get us started.
The pressure’s on Rafa to keep winning… will a depleted Newcastle team oblige? Chelsea play at Fulham in a couple of hours, and they’re no longer pushovers, while Arsenal hosts a Portsmouth team that’s more inconsistent than they are. Sparky could use another emphatic win today to keep his grip on the job at Eastlands too.
Maybe a liveblog later, but I’m too nervous and hung over to give the treatment to my Reds.
Come wake up with us after the jump.
Today’s Fixtures:
Newcastle v. Liverpool (7am kick-off)
9am kick-offs:
Arsenal v. Portsmouth
Bolton v. Wigan
Everton v. Sunderland
Fulham v. Chelsea
West Brom v. Tottenham
West Ham v. Stoke City
Blackburn v. Manchester City (11.15am kick-off)
LINEUPS:
Newcastle: Given, Edgar, Taylor, Coloccini, Jose Enrique, Gutierrez, Guthrie, Butt, N’Zogbia, Duff, Owen.
Subs: Harper, Xisco, Geremi, Ameobi, Kadar, LuaLua, Carroll.
Liverpool: Reina, Carragher, Hyypia, Agger, Insua, Benayoun, Mascherano, Leiva Lucas, Babel, Gerrard, Kuyt.
Subs: Cavalieri, Keane, Riera, Alonso, Ngog, El Zhar, Skrtel.
Owen against his former club, tons of changes at the back for the Magpies. Meanwhile, Lucas and Mascherano will play alongside each other, Keane gets a rest after scoring 3 in his last 2, and Riera will also be used off the bench. Oh, and Babel gets a start! Hallelujah! There is a god!
Written by Darkvader on December 28th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on EPL and Lingering Bursitis and Open Thread.
Nope, not today.
Boy Howdy. A cracker to end the day. What will Wenger manage considering his recent losses? No Adebayor today, no Fabregas, no Walcott still…
… come Goon with me after the jump.
FULLTIME SCORES FROM THE 10am GAMES:
Manchester City 5, Hull 1
Middlesbrough 0, Everton 1
Liverpool 3, Bolton 0
Wigan 2, Newcastle 1
Sunderland 0, Blackburn 0
—
LINEUPS:
Aston Villa (4-5-1): Friedel, Reo-Coker, Davies, Knight, Luke Young, Milner, Sidwell, Petrov, Barry, Ashley Young, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Harewood, Delfouneso, Salifou, Shorey, Gardner, Osbourne.
Arsenal (4-5-1): Almunia, Sagna, Eboue, Djourou, Silvestre, Song Billong, Denilson, Nasri, Diaby, Gallas, Van Persie.
Subs: Fabianski, Toure, Vela, Ramsey, Wilshere, Clichy, Bendtner.
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)
No Laursen for Villa is a huge concern, but Arsenal are walking wounded at this point so I have no sympathy. Silvestre coming in for a healthy Clichy is definitely bizarre.
We’re ready to start, I’ve got my gigantic turkey/stuffing/ham sandwich, so it’s not all bad. Get the beers in, and let’s see which Arsenal turns up this afternoon.
1 mins: Some early kick-about. If I’m a Villa fan, I’m not happy at seeing Zat Knight duff up the central defense. Still, so much pace moving forward. It’s going to take something titanic from the Arse here. Odds are heavily stacked against, etc.
Early effort for Arsenal as Sidwell and Friedel miscommunicate in front of goal under pressure, but it’s cleared.
4 mins: Milner gets a nice cross/shot in from the right, but Almunia’s equal to it. Ashley Young lurked for the rebound, but he looked offside.
6 mins: Milner wins a corner off Silvestre as it gets all scrappy in the final third. Barry floats it in and Sidwell rocks the crossbar/post with his towering header. Good start for Villa at home, so close to taking the lead!
The commentary team need to stop telling us that Sidwell played at Arsenal back in the late 90s, even winning a reserves trophy with them despite never cracking the First XI. This is no longer an interesting tidbit; it’s a bludgeoning bit of annoyance.
8 mins: More pressure at the Arsenal end as Almunia comes out to meet the long ball with his head just outside the box as Agbonlahor was closing in.
11 mins: A gorgeous deep cross in from Barry via a free kick, and Curtis Davies meets it wide open at the edge of the 6-yard box. His header goes a mile wide. A supremely wasted effort.
14 mins: Lovely play by Arsenal on the break finds Van Persie in the box. His first touch is perfect off the chest, but the giant oaf Zat Knight gets across to snuff out the danger, and in the nick of time too.
16 mins: More desperate defending by the Gooners, and you’d be forgiven for thinking that soccer was played in just one half of the field. A couple of dangerous crosses, a save by Almunia… par for the course at the moment. Arsenal are looking to break but their passing is rather lazy and gifting Villa more possession.
20 mins: Denilson and Sagna aren’t going to take this pressure lying down, and neither’s Diaby; his long ball looks for van Persie but is cleared. Song fouls Barry in midfield, and we’re back down the other end.
Great break for Agbonlahor, and he spins Eboue like a dreidel; his low shot is parried by Almunia, and Sidwell’s follow-up is blocked by Gallas and out for a corner. Nervy times again at the back for Arsenal. The lack of pace possessed by William Gauloises and Emmanuel will be exposed soon enough unless they get some help.
22 mins: More scrambling at the back as Villa seem to get free down the wings whenever they want. Another Milner cross is humped clear at the near post, and Eboue tries to reset the defense. The big problem for Arsenal resides in that crowded midfield; they’re so young and inexperienced and they’re having a tough time keeping possession. The key to stopping Villa is to stop their distribution up to Agbo and Ashley. If the Gooners can hold the ball for more than 3 passes, they have a chance to slow things down. At the moment, it’s end-to-end sprinting and Almunia is keeping them in it.
25 mins: To prove my point almost immediately, Petrov wins it easily from Denilson and is promptly battered by Song, earning Song a yellow card. Villa pour forward once more.
26 mins: Arse flirt with danger via their offside trap as Young gets over the top, but he’s marginally offside. Not much in it at all.
28 mins: The beast that is Friedel is awoken from a rather peaceful slumber by an Arsenal free kick that he fists to safety. Villa break up the left with Young and Agbo combining once more, but Almunia cuts off the final pass and hoists it out of play. The Villa fans are in full song at the moment, and the tackling in midfield is getting later and later from both sides.
Villa have had 6 attempts on goal, 2 on target, and 5 corners. Arsenal have 0s in every category. Sense a pattern emerging? If you decipher those numbers as being indicative of complete and total Aston Villa domination, you’d be right.
30 mins: Ashley tests the offside trap yet again but Sagna’s got it right. Living on the edge, truly. Nasri makes a rare jaunt down the left and is interrupted emphatically by Reo-Coker’s sliding tackle.
33 mins: A foul in the box gives Arsenal a breather and Almunia launches it down the other end. Wenger needs to bring Clichy on at some point, because Milner is in danger of owning poor Silvestre for life.
Gallas does well to cut off Agbonlahor’s sprint down the left.
34 mins: GOAL GOAL GO-ALMOST for Aston Villa. Nasri does a spot of ball-watching as Barry lofts a free kick to the back post, and Milner sneaks in unnoticed. His sliding effort is well saved by Almunia low to his left via the post. Hit the post, bobbled back into Almunia’s arms. Should have been 1-0.
36 mins: Eboue, meet yellow card. Yellow card, meet Eboue. Get acquainted, fellas. He chopped Agbo down on the wing from behind and had no complaints about that one.
37 mins: GO-ALMOST for Villa again! Davies’ hook shot on the right sails over Almunia’s head, and Miguel is helpless as he watches it rattle off the crossbar and away from danger. Third Villa instance of ball-to-woodwork already today.
If the goal were a foot wider, it’s be 3-0. That said, if Grandma had balls, she’d be Grandpa. A difficult first half for Wenger. If he goes to his bench after the break, he’s got nothing but youth to turn to. I can’t imagine Wilshere or Ramsey doing much to stem the tide.
40 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL… Unbelievable, really. The Gooners’ first effort on goal brings them a goal. A lucky bounce frees Denilson in the area, and he does superbly well under pressure to slide the ball between Friedel’s legs and give his side the lead, completely against the run of play and in defiance of the gods, physics, logic, rational thought, and Lady Fortune. Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 1
How will Villa respond? By falling apart, it seems. Suddenly they’re skittish and give van Persie time to stepover and dribble in the box, but RvP’s cross falls to no-one at the back post. Punishment for their profligacy, surely. (And yes, for anyone who’s been mad enough to follow all these liveblogs today, that’s my favourite word at the moment.)
43 mins: I’m speechless. Agbonlahor beats Almunia to the ball in the air and it speeds goalward, but Sagna overhead-kicks it off the line to save Almunia’s bacon. The Gunners live to fight another day!
Song off due to injury, Aaron Ramsey on. He’s in for a dogfight in the middle.
HALFTIME: Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 1
A simply outrageous 45 minutes of football. Villa hit the woodwork three times, Sagna clears acrobatically off the line, and Denilson scored against the run of play with the Gunners’ only scoring chance. What will Martin O’Neill say at halftime?
999 times out of 1000, he misses it. Not today, however!
It’s set up nicely for the second half. If Villa can recover, they could open up a 6 point gap between them and Arse. If it holds as is, they’ll be level once more. Who said the EPL is predictable?
We’re back, and O’Neill must wonder if his team can salvage something. That has to hurt; dominate for 44 minutes, yet still a goal down. I reckon it rates next to going 18-0 but ruining it at the last minute, albeit on a much smaller scale.
46 mins: No subs, and some header tennis in midfield. Nasri gets an inch of space on the left wing, but Milner and Petrov harry him and he gives up the goal kick.
Gauloises punts a long clearance, but Ramsey’s long pass goes right out for the Villa throw. Holding possession is of the utmost importance for the Goons.
48 mins: Barry’s long cross from the right is cleared easily.
GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL and that, my friends, is how to surpass expectations. Delirium for the away fans, as Abou Diaby nips in behind Knight to finish into the top corner. Unbelievable. It was a half-break at best that caught Villa out, and a wonderfully calm finish. Eboue set him loose after some nice play on the right that left Curtis Davies for dust. Villa haven’t done much wrong, and they’re 2-0 down. As I said… unbelievable. Aston Villa 0, Arsenal 2
Diaby gets booked for his Lambeau-esque leap into the away fans after scoring, but do you think he cares?
53 mins: Amid the noise and frenzy, how will Villa respond? Agbo wins a throw on the left but it’s wasted thanks to Young’s cross-to-nowhere. It’s going to take something epic to get them back in this one. For all their possession and early pressure, they look positively lost as to how they should respond. It’s their turn to chase the ball around for a few minutes.
After my shit-talking on the Gooners, this is a hell of a way to respond to their recent troubles. Just when they’re written off, they go and pull this.
55 mins: Should have been three! Diaby does his best Thierry Henry impression in slicing up the middle, passing to Ramsey who has his initial shot blocked, then van Persie gets a sniff and hits the post before his follow-up is deflected out for a corner. Nothing comes of it except for another corner. A third goal would be unlucky for Villa, but really, they should have been 3-0 up before Denilson’s cool finish. Funny game, this. The confidence is all with Arsenal.
Villa clear the 2nd corner as far as Ramsey, and his gorgeous chip finds RvP with space to head home. His header goes a mile wide. Still, Aston Villa are falling apart before our very eyes. It’s Arsenal chants ringing out around Villa Park. How will O’Neill respond? Missing Laursen was more serious than he expected.
59 mins: Agbonlahor squanders possession in the Arsenal box and the Gunners break again. At the back, Villa are like single-ply toilet paper. Diaby gets blocked from shooting but it comes to Nasri who finds Eboue wide open, and his goal-bound shot is blocked at the last second. Curtis Davies the hero that time. One-way traffic towards Friedel’s goal at the moment. Funny what two goals will do to a game.
62 mins: Another Arsenal corner. Villa are confused. I blame tainted half-time oranges. They look more like Tottenham than Top 4.
Agbo gives it up easily again on the right. Villa are a great team when they’re winning, but they never look like getting back into a game when they’re struggling.
Just as I type this, Sidwell gets free down the right and plants it right on Ashley Young’s foot in front of goal, but there’s Bacary Sagna to stick a foot in as Young picks his spot. Superb defending, and a glimmer of life for Villa.
64 mins: PENALTY TO VILLA. Deserved too; he gets caught out by Milner’s long pass and Agbonlahor has a step on him. Gauloises decides to tackle, but hashes it, and Barry has a chance to pull Villa back into it…
… GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL for Gareth Barry from the spot, sending Almunia the wrong way. Emphatic finish, and the crowd’s awake again. Testing times for Arsenal now. A phenomenal match thus far. Aston Villa 1, Arsenal 2
68 mins: Wenger is still miffed about the penalty, but there’s more pressing issues at stake now. 25 minutes to go, and you never want to give Villa way back into the game. Almunia races out to clear a long ball aimed for Gabby down the line.
70 mins: Arsenal look like the Arsenal of the first half all over again. Struggling to maintain possession, and letting Villa come to them. Gabby takes on Sagna down the left, but Bacary wins that round.
Sidenote: I wish Rafa Benitez could buy Sagna. He’s having an incredible game thus far, goalline clearance aside.
72 mins: Arsenal throw men forward again, but their attack fizzles out at the top of the box. Villa break with speed, but no dice. Agbo looks like he got a knock in that from-behind tackle on Diaby, and he gets a yellow card on top of it.
Sagna clears under pressure from Luke Young and the Gunners try to slow things down. It doesn’t work; Sagna’s throw goes right to Young, and when the cross comes in, it misses everyone and falls to Milner, whose shot is blocked at the edge of the box. He crosses in the rebound, and Villa put up a large shout for handball. No dice.
Ashley Young gets loose on the left again, but his cross is met in the middle by Almunia.
76 mins: Simmer down now, fellas, as things get heated in midfield. Diaby is chopped down, and then seconds later, van Persie gets beaten to the ball by Reo-Coker and then tracks him down to take him down. RvP gets a yellow card, the first meaningful thing he’s done in 25+ minutes. Reo-Coker gets one too for his pushing and shoving. Bit silly - not a booking at all for either of them.
78 mins: Sagna’s weak sidefooted clearance falls to Ashley Young in the box, but his floated cross is intercepted by Almunia. Deep breath for Arsenal… just over 15 minutes left.
80 mins: Eboue creates a problem by ignoring Almunia’s call for the ball and trying to clear it himself, but mercifully for him, Gabby fouls on the loose ball and the crisis disappears.
Sagna again with the heroics. Barry gets room to run at the backline, finds Sidwell whose shot is blocked. Ashley Young is lurking at the back post, but Sagna gets across to block the cross. The corner bobbles around in the area, but neither Knight nor Milner can finish. Imagine how dangerous these Villa corners could have been with Laursen in the mix.
Stiliyan Petrov is pissed about not getting a throw-in and gets booked for yelling at the linesman.
Sub for Arsenal: Samir “The Ghost” Nasri on, Gael Clichy on.
Written by Darkvader on December 26th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal and Boxing Day is the best day ever and EPL and Lingering Bursitis and Liveblogs and aston villa.
Which game will we get? The suspense might kill me!
Which feed will be most reliable? Let’s liveblog a 10am game together, shall we? Join me after the jump…
The possibilities are:
Liverpool v. Bolton
No Torres! We’ve been lied to! Seriously though, does Keane have another gorgeous volley in him today?
Man City v. Hull City
Sparky tries again to save his job. Word has it that his Dubai overlords aren’t too fond of Christmas spirit.
Middlesbrough v. Everton
Can a team with no strikers beat a team with no defenders?
Sunderland v. Blackburn
Which “New Manager Effect” will reign supreme today?
Wigan v. Newcastle
Bruce v. Kinnear. Boredom v. Ineptitude.
Spin the wheel and let’s get lucky. Of course, let’s all keep each other informed… get the scores and insights of the other games in the comments if I end up picking the one you didn’t want.
And… it’s LFC v. Bolton! Hallelujah! And the feed is in English!
LINEUPS:
Liverpool (4-2-3-1): Reina; Carragher, Hyypia, Agger, Insua; Gerrard, Benayoun, Keane, Riera; Kuyt.
Subs: Cavalieri, Babel, Mascherano, Leiva Lucas, Ngog, El Zhar, Darby.
Lucas is replaced, mercifully, and Arbeloa’s injury brings the aging Finn into the fray. Carragher’s xmas gift is a stint at right-back. Rafa’s back in attendance, but up in the box seats after his kidney stone surgery.
Bolton (4-5-1): Jaaskelainen; Steinsson, Cahill, Andrew O’Brien, Samuel; Muamba, Nolan, McCann, Taylor, Gardner, Elmander.
Subs: Al Habsi, Smolarek, Davies, Riga, Shittu, Basham, Obadeyi.
Referee: Alan Wiley (Staffordshire)
Hooray, a 4-5-1 for Bolton! Megson has never picked up a point against Liverpool, so this should be fun. Granted, he’s only had 6 attempts, but that’s enough to be considered a precedent, right?
Early scores from around the EPL:
Chelsea 2, West Brom 0
Tottenham 0, Fulham 0
Portsmouth 1, West Ham 4
Stoke City 0, Manchester United 1
You’ll Never Walk Alone plays over the loudspeakers, and we’re just waiting for kick-off. Keep me posted with the other games, won’t you? Man City/Hull should give some goals.
1 mins: LFC kick off and attack the Kop in the first half. Liverpool have been a bit crap lately, drawing every game in seemingly forever. With Man U sneaking a lucky win earlier and Chelsea victorious as well, they need to keep pace.
2 mins: Early nerves for the Reds as Elmander gets free down the right. His chip finds Nolan, but instead of shooting, he tries to find Gardner unmarked at the near post and Reina leaps to intercept the cross. If that had made it, Bolton would be up.
Liverpool counter nicely with Kuyt, and McCann puts it out for a corner. Gerrard floats it in, it misses everybody and comes to Riera alone at the edge of the box. He drills it in and Keane’s flick-on ends up wide. A bright start for both sides.
5 mins: Liverpool enjoying all the early possession in Bolton’s half as they try to unlock Bolton’s 10-men-behind-the-ball approach. Riera can’t reach Gerrard’s long cross-field pass and Bolton get a goal kick.
8 mins: Benayoun gets behind Steinsson out on the right but Wiley reckons he handballed the long pass to bring it under control. Looked like shoulder to me.
10 mins: Riera skips through O’Brien on the left and puts a cross in, from which header tennis ensues. Bolton fail to clear properly and Samuel turns it out for a corner. From Gerrard’s delivery, Riera drags a shot wide of the right post after collecting Agger’s flick-on. Liverpool are giving it a go early.
13 mins: No way through the 9-0-1, and Bolton hoof it down to Reina. Elmander is an island up front, lost amid the grassy seas to be guarded by Agger and Hyppia. The stage is set for a terrifically boring 0-0.
15 mins: A promising burst by LFC down the left, as Riera and Insua play a neat 1-2 to find Kuyt at the edge of the box, but his leaden foot destroys the momentum. It’s a guessing game for Liverpool; how to break down the rigid formation?
16 mins: Kuyt blasts his shot right at Cahill’s shins from the top of the box, but much better passing from the home side. Their passing did manage to open up some space, and Bolton thump it down to Reina to clear their lines. If this is honestly Bolton’s plan for the next 75 minutes, they will almost certainly lose. The notion of playing “Protect the Fort” for 90 minutes away from home in the EPL is sadly misguided.
18 mins: Lovely stuff from Liverpool. Hyppia’s 1-2 on the right frees Benayoun, whose deep cross is turned out for a corner. From the corner, Insua gets a nice volley from the top of the box that forces a sharp save from Jaskelaainen, only for Bolton to cough up another corner. Good pressure at the moment. It means jacksh*t if they can’t score.
20 mins: Alonso’s beautiful ball in meets Dirk Kuyt’s head, and he glazes it just over the bar with the goalie frozen.
22 mins: Robbie Keane’s been very much a non-factor thus far. Insua gives it away and Bolton attempt a trade-mark counter-attack with Elmander, but it’s snuffed out immediately.
Fabrice Muamba puts in a perfect tackle on Benayoun in the area after Jlloyd Samuel’s header dropped nicely for Yossi. The corner is cleared, and then Yossi’s deep cross is headed over by Cahill for another corner. PLEASE LIVERPOOL, SCORE A DAMN GOAL ALREADY.
25 mins: Liverpool win their 7th corner as Steinsson is troubled under the long pass to Reira. Alonso swings it in, and under pressure from Kuyt, Cahill concedes corner #8.
GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL Liverpool, and finally Bolton crack. Albert Riera times his run perfectly to meet Gerrard’s outswinger and he guides it with his right foot through Jaskelaainen’s hands and into the net. Johan Elmander was a spectator at the front post. Should have done better. Liverpool 1, Bolton 0
28 mins: Andy O’Brien is almost hung out to dry as Muamba’s clearance ends up falling into Dirk Kuyt’s path. The two tussle, and O’Brien wins a free kick for his efforts.
Jesus, Man City score goals 2 and 3 within 90 seconds. Caicedo has a brace already, and Robinho is manhandling the Hull backline and gets the third for himself after setting up the other two. 3-0 Sparky within half an hour. NOT what I was expecting.
31 mins: The pace is slowing a little, but Liverpool aren’t content with just one goal early. That’s been their biggest problem of late; they’ve struggled to take the lead, and struggled even more to expand on it. Lots of neat passing across midfield as they look for another opening. Muamba scythes Keane down from behind and gives away a free-kick. LFC promptly punt it forward, but Kuyt is offside.
Can someone find me video of Robinho’s goal and ensuing celebration? Try the usual resources around half-time… thanks for the help!
Ryan Taylor scores his 4th in 4 games against Newcastle to give Wigan the 1-0 lead at home. No score still at ‘Boro or Sunderland.
35 mins: Insua and Riera torment poor Gretar Steinsson again down the right, but Insua’s cross finds no-one in particular. It’s all Liverpool at the moment as Bolton try their hand at defending from the edge of their own area. Very compact formation, very negative. Dirk Kuyt wins a free-kick 30 yards out after catching Gavin McCann in possession and then getting hauled down. Gerrard stands over it…
… he finds Hyppia at the back post, and it falls to Yossi who volleys wide of the far post.
Manchester City score a 4th thanks to Robinho once more, thus confounding bettors everywhere with their woeful, inconsistent team. An away defeat to West Brom one week, a 4-0 lead at Eastlands with Hull in attendance?
38 mins: Agger shoots from miles out but it’s a mile wide. I can’t remember the last time Bolton got inside the Liverpool half. Keane then breaks and wins yet another corner off Cahill’s leg.
Some argy-bargy in the box, and Gerrard gets to re-take the corner. Hyppia uses Cahill as a Jungle Jim and Alan Wiley gives the free-kick to take the pressure off.
41 mins: Jamie Carragher, playing right-back, pops up on the left wing of all places, and fizzes a shot from 30 yards just over the bar. I am forced to pinch myself to check that I did actually see that.
Liverpool are playing brilliantly, but two things to consider:
1. They’re only winning 1-0
2. They’re playing Bolton
Still, it makes limp performances against Stoke, West Ham and Fulham appear all the more confusing.
43 mins: Holy sh*t, Bolton get forward! Elmander whiffs his volley and meekly appeals for handball against Insua, but it’s waved off. Liverpool then surge forward, and Yossi’s meandering run/cross wins yet another corner. I think that’s corner #11 for the Reds in the first-half. It’s been nearly 40 minutes since Nolan’s attempt on goal.
Insua volleys again from the edge of the box and coming close. He’s starting to look like a good little player.
45 mins + 1: Bolton win a free-kick just inside LFC territory but waste it, and Wiley promptly blows the whistle.
HALFTIME: Liverpool 1, Bolton 0
Seriously, this is about as lop-sided as it gets. Think the ‘85 Bears in their prime playing against a Pop Warner outfit. LFC with 47,653 corners, but only one goal thanks to Riera’s near-post flick. They’ll need a couple more goals before I’m convinced.
Insua, Riera, Yossi and Alonso all looking good in the first half. This is mildly encouraging. Keane still looks rather lost up-top, but then again, he’s being marked by 8 players at any one time.
Thanks to U75 for finding the Robinho dance party… enjoy it here and wonder just what it was supposed to be. I like the idea of “Special Olympics Speed Skater” as noted in the comments.
And any video of Phil Brown’s unique half-time team talk on the pitch in front of the away fans would be greatly appreciated too.
Let’s get back to it… for Bolton, a sub! Kevin Davies on, Jlloyd Samuel off. Now no-one can argue that Bolton aren’t interested in attacking.
46 mins: Steinsson gets a yellow for his late slide into Xabi Alonso. Bolton shift the formation a bit as Elmander tucks behind Davies with the bald? Mr. Cahill moving to right-midfield.
48 mins: Gretar Steinsson looks for an early bath as he clatters into Albert Riera way off on the left for no apparent reason, and gets a stern talking-to from Wiley. Any more fouls and he’s off, it would seem. Best attack down that left if you’re LFC, right?
Robbie Keane houdinis himself enough space to whip in a cross under pressure from Cahill and Steinsson (who is inexplicably drawn to the danger of a 2nd yellow), but it’s cleared with ease. Bolton attack and win a free-kick for their troubles.
50 mins: The Kevin Davies Effect has jolted Bolton to life as they win their first corner. Cahill puts it right in Reina’s hands, and life slowly returns to normal.
Beware this man, dislocated digits or not!
53 mins: Liverpool begin their evolution into aimlessness as the concept of stringing more than 2 passes together in midfield suddenly looks laborious and impossible. I pray to the Boxing Day deities for a second goal that’ll put this game to bed.
54 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL and wow, am I prescient! Almost right on cue, Gerrard breaks and finds room to run up the middle. Robbie Keane times his run off O’Brien’s shoulder to perfection, Stevie finds him, and Keane beats Jaskelaainen at the near post with a wonderful finish. Is this the moment that Robbie turns his season around? Liverpool 2, Bolton 0
56 mins: Agger goes into the book for a two-footed lunge on Johan Elmander in the center circle. Fair call; despite being a 50/50 ball, leaving your feet always puts you in the book. Just ask John Terry.
58 mins: GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and it’s liquid football from Liverpool. Reina gathers a free-kick and throws long to Alonso, who sprints from halfway and finds Benayoun out wide. Yossi takes a touch and slides it across the face of goal where Robbie Keane is there to slide it past a hopeless Jaskelaainen. Yep, Keane’s back. Liverpool 3, Bolton 0
60 mins: Bolton gamely attack and win a corner, but it amounts to nothing. It’s nice to see my Liverpool play dominating football and get the goals they deserve. They’ll still be on top heading into the New Year. Lovely stuff, really. Oh, when Fernando comes back, and Keane has rediscovered how to score… (must lie down)
Everton take the lead at the Riverside, and it’s our most-hated Cahill, the Antipodean Tim, with the goal. Quite ridiculous that they’re on pace to take 7 points from their last 3 games despite not having a single healthy striker on their squad. Toffee bastards.
64 mins: Liverpool swarm like flies at a picnic, passing comfortably and looking for more. Steinsson makes a hash of his clearance and the pressure stays on. Gerrard has a pot-shot from 25 yards and it drags wide of the post. Ah well. It must be nice for him not to be playing saviour for once. Those long-range shots aren’t nearly as frustrating when we’re winning 3-0.
I think Jussi should get a chance to play in midfield; as Yossi sprints to close him down on a long ball forward, he takes one shimmy to beat Benayoun before casually passing it out to O’Brien. So cool, calm and collected. Shame his outfield players are so damn skittish.
66 mins: Megson makes a double-change: Matthew Taylor and Johan Elmander off, Riga Mustapha and Polish international Ebi Smolarek on. Those names were a nightmare to spell, by the way.
67 mins: The subs make little difference; Liverpool crowd the box as Keane looks for his hat-trick, but Kuyt gets in the way and the two collide, leaving Andy O’Brien a simple clearance. Keane and Kuyt moan for a moment, but realize they’re winning 3-0. Did I mention the score was 3-0? It’s 3-0.
Sub for Liverpool: Albert Riera off, Nabil El-Zhar off. Good afternoon for the Spaniard, and some much-needed rest ahead of the New Year’s fixtures. Let’s see what the sub can do; admittedly he’s not done much so far this season, albeit with limited opportunity.
Also, if you’re vigilant: still no Ryan Babel sighting. Despite the comfortable win, he’s being wasted by Benitez at the moment. Would be nice to give him a run out to build some confidence.
71 mins: A deep free-kick is cleared easily by Gerrard and Insua, and Yossi beat the offside trap on the right from the ensuing counter-attack. Nothing came from it, however. Almost 70% of possession for LFC so far today. That’s f*cking insane.
Sub for LFC: Gerrard off, Lucas on. Nice to rest your studs with Newcastle just a few days away. Carragher takes the armband. Still no Ryan Babel? C’mon Sammy/Rafa. Give him 15 good minutes at least.
74 mins: The tireless Kuyt earns another corner, and Agger’s header is just wide.
76 mins: El-Zhar cuts inside from the left and has a crack at goal, but it’s well wide of the near post.
77 mins: Rafa didn’t get the memo, as his final sub is used on David Ngog. Dirk Kuyt takes the bench.
It’s petering out, and now, the focus will shift to Aston Villa/Arsenal in just under an hour. Honest predictions in the comments, please. I’ll liveblog that one as well, so make the jump across around 12.00. That leaves me just enough time to build a leftovers sandwich: two thick slices of bread, cranberry sauce, turkey, stuffing, topped with roasted carrots. Delicious.
Bassong sent off at the JJB, and Amr Zaki converts the penalty to give Wigan a comfy 2-0 cushion with 10 minutes to go. Reports indicate it was a harsh dismissal, as the foul was just outside the box, but hey, can’t win ‘em all. LFC “target” Emile Heskey won the PK.
81 mins: Gavin McCann catches Xabi five minutes after the ball had gone, and gets a yellow card. Dismal afternoon for Bolton; they won 4 of 5 EPL fixtures in November, but now they’ve been thumped by Chelsea, Villa and Liverpool since December 6th.
83 mins: Keane almost gets on the end of a Alonso long ball, but O’Brien does well to usher it out of play.
85 mins: Almost a consolation for Bolton as Muamba’s angled pass releases Smolarek, but his low shot is inches wide of the post. Reina is still on course for clean sheet #11 of the season, you’ll be thrilled to know.
Gary Cahill’s injured but won’t come off and leave his side down to 10 men (Megson used all his subs 20 minutes ago), so he’s moved to the right-wing where he’ll jog around for the final 5-6 minutes. McCann’s moved to center-back in his absence.
87 mins: Alonso’s corner bamboozles Jaskelaainen and is cleared off Benayoun’s foot. Jussi punched air and almost got caught out. From the second corner, Hyppia puts it cleanly toward the top corner but O’Brien gets in the way and prevents the 4th goal. LFC still pouring forward in attack. Tons of confidence on display.
Cahill’s now playing striker well out on the right, presumably to avoid any contact whatsoever.
88 mins: Andy O’Brien plays Keane on, and Carragher finds him. Steinsson tracks back and times his tackle to perfection, denying him a hat-trick. A wonderful tackle.
4 added minutes. Keane is still looking for his third goal, and it seems like LFC are trying to get it for him. Keane turns provider and forces another fantastic, sprawling tackle from O’Brien to snuff out the danger from Ngog. Poor Bolton.
90 mins + 2: El Zhar is offside on the left wing as Liverpool look to break again.
Ryan Babel in a rare “action” shot as he spectates again. Let’s hope he can turn it into a positive and write some good raps about the experience.
90 mins + 3: Yossi almost bends one in at the death as Jussi saves well to his left, and then Ngog almost turns it in from the follow-up. Mercifully, the ref blows the whistle.
FULLTIME: Liverpool 3, Bolton 0
A comfortable, convincing win for the home side, their first home win in what seems like months. They will stay top even after Chelsea and Man U win earlier in the day.
So, on to Liveblog #3! Join me in the next thread in 20 mins or so for the big match of the day, Aston Villa v. Arsenal. I need to make that sandwich, and FAST.
Written by Darkvader on December 26th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Boxing Day is the best day ever and EPL and Lingering Bursitis and Liveblogs.
Well folks, the holidays are almost over, and some of you are back to work tomorrow. If you’re not back in the office, you’re stuck with the family and in-laws for another 24 hours, and I’m honestly not sure which scenario is worse.
For me, my lady has to work and my in-laws do too, so that translates to a free, unfettered morning/afternoon of EPL. Which also means a free, unfettered morning/afternoon of liveblogging.
So join us in the morning, whether you’re chained to your desk or being swarmed by screaming, sugar-filled children. Especially for that Aston Villa/Arsenal at lunchtime.
See you all then. Hope Santa brought you the gifts that keep on giving.
Written by Darkvader on December 25th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Announcements and EPL and Lingering Bursitis.
I could watch John Terry’s sending-off over and over again until I die. It’s a fun one; for once he keeps his mouth shut, and I can’t help but wonder how long until England stops calling. There are definitely better alternatives out there.
Whoops, forgot the song wasn’t exactly work-safe. I was assuming you’re all in bed still anyway.
Written by Darkvader on December 23rd, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on John Terry and Lingering Bursitis and Spartak London and Video and fouls.
How many EPL jobs can one man have before he’s finally recognized as being useless?
Big Phil, move aside.
Big Sam is here, the face and charisma that launched a thousand ships. His working-class jowls and worry lines will dominate the sidelines this weekend, and if Blackburn dare get their new recycled gaffer a win, he’ll dominate the headlines too.
But it’s not all man boobs and malcontent in the EPL this week. No, there are a couple of Sunday humdingers that will surely underwhelm. We can hope for some excitement, scandal, intrigue or entertainment.
The thing is: will we receive it?
Blackburn v. Stoke
Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate the New Manager Effect. I reckon the lads from Ewood will be up for this one now that they have Allardyce to impress. Stoke don’t have Delap, so they’re essentially useless. Blackburn 1, Stoke 0
Bolton v. Portsmouth
Draw draw draw draw draw. Megson v. Adams: the battle of two tactically-challenged, inept managers. The only thing that can prevail is complete and utter boredom. Bolton 1, Portsmouth 1
Fulham v. Middlesbrough
The home side are unbeaten in six, with four consecutive draws. They’ve scored just one goal in the last month. Meanwhile, ‘Boro have only won once in their last seven. This is another snore-fest, folks. Hodgson will sneak it. Fulham 2, ‘Boro 1
Hull v. Sunderland
The Keane-less Mackems are still without a sideline general, while Phil Brown can do no wrong at the KC Stadium. After tomorrow, they’ll have more disciples in Yorkshire to the Cult. Hull 3, Sunderland 0
West Ham v. Aston Villa
The battle of the Clarets, as u75 calls it. It will not, however, be much of a battle in the scoreline. The Hammers are not pushovers, but O’Neill’s men have a self-belief that might just see them secure fourth place over the Christmas holidays once and for all. West Ham 1, Aston Villa 2
West Brom v. Manchester City (Sunday)
It’s the Take it to the bank special! Despite being dreadful away from home, Sparky can’t possibly fuck this one up, can he? Then again, Robinho’s struggling with ankle-knack… West Brom 0, Manchester City 2
Newcastle v. Tottenham (Sunday)
We can look forward to the Clash of Old-School, Wily, Loud-Mouthed Managers at St. James’s Park, and this should actually be worth watching, unlike all the drivel tomorrow. As much as you must feel the urge to back ‘Arry and his culture of winning narrowly, there is the imminent danger of Michael Owen. He’s enjoying a couple of weeks of good form before his next injury, and you can never write that off. It’s the ultimate intangible! Newcastle 2, Tottenham 2
Thirdsenal v. HopefullyStillFirsterpool (Sunday)
These games always seem so loaded with tension and title implications, but they peter out when it’s time to hit the pitch. Will this weekend be any different? No Torres and no guarantee as to which Adebayor will show up means this is heading for the bore/score draw. Arsenal 1, Liverpool 1
Everton v. Spartak London (Monday)
I always swore I’d never ever root for the Toffees in any capacity. This monday might be the one time where such a practice is even considered. F*ck Tim Cahill to the deepest chasms of hell, but I’ll cheer if he puts Big Phil Scolari’s men further off the pace heading into Christmas itself. Realism kicks in just enough to tell me that this doomsday scenario will never come to fruition. Everton 1, Spartak London 3
Written by Darkvader on December 19th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on EPL Weekend Preview and Lingering Bursitis and WAGs (Wild Ass Guesses).
While you were tucked up in bed dreaming of all the transfers your team won’t make in January, that FIFA Club World Cup Trophyship TourneyShield was taking place over in Japan, and with an almost full-strength Man United XI on display, one would expect the score to have been rather emphatic.
Instead, the final result had a touch of Benny Hill to it. But seriously, 6 goals in 17 minutes?
Of course, United still prevailed by the score of 5-3, but not before some late fun from both teams in the second half, giving the match more of an NBA All-Star Game feel thanks to its invisible defense.
Rooney’s contribution was perhaps best of all, summing him up in his brief 17-minute appearance (yes - as soon as he came on, the goals began). Young Wayne managed 2 goals and 1 yellow card within 4 minutes. He’s nothing if not efficient.
Hideo Yashimoto’s injury-time strike was the pick of the litter. Anyone think Roman might buy him for 8 million? Meanwhile, Fergie’s men will play LDU Quito in the final.
Written by Darkvader on December 18th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Club World Cup and Lingering Bursitis and gamba goalsaka and manchester united.
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