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Well folks, the results are in.
I can’t wait to see how wrong everyone was once we’ve finished counting.
In the meantime, I bring you the full CL draw, the UEFA Cup draw (like anyone not named The Likely Lad or Keith gives a toss), and some half-assed predictions.
Whether you won our competition or not, you can’t say that the draw gave us many lame fixtures.
Without further ado, who got gifted and who got screwed? These are the games to have pundits salivating in their armchairs until February.
Champions League draw, Round of 16
Spartak London vs. Juventus
Villarreal vs. Panathinaikos
Sporting Lisbon vs. Bayern Munich
Atletico Madrid vs. FC Porto
Lyon vs. Barcelona
Real Madrid vs. Liverpool
Arsenal vs. Roma
Inter Milan vs. Manchester United
First up, the red-faced Scot draws his nemesis in Jose Mourinho. Easily the pick of the round, although I still reckon the Mancs will sneak on. Either way, the trash-talk will be sublime. Spartak get their former manager Claudio Ranieri in his new Turin digs and should advance, and Arsenal get the gift of AS Roma, perhaps the 2nd best draw they could have hoped for overall.
The last remaining French team is guaranteed to exit in this round thanks to pulling out Barca, which makes you wonder if they’re kicking themselves at rolling over to Bayern in the meaningless final group game. Bayern trounced them, and their reward? Some Portuguese patsies.
Rafa gets two Ramos, a Raul and a tw*t in Ramon Calderon. I expect a 1-0 aggregate win for my lads, as is our custom in this competition.
Elsewhere, I see Villareal, Atletico and Bayern advancing, hopefully joining all 4 English clubs (barring some epic failures; Serie A and EPL normally ends up in favour of the English*, although Juve has the best chance of advancing, I reckon) and Barcelona in the quarter-finals.
I suppose I should mention the UEFA Cup too:
UEFA Cup, Last 32:
Paris Saint-Germain v Wolfsburg
FC Copenhagen v MANCHESTER CITY
NEC Nijmegen v Hamburg
Sampdoria v Metalist Kharkiv
Braga v Standard Liege
ASTON VILLA v CSKA Moscow
Lech Poznan v Udinese
Olympiakos v Saint-Etienne
Fiorentina v Ajax
Aalborg v Deportivo La Coruna
Werder Bremen v AC Milan
Bordeaux v Galatasaray
Dynamo Kiev v Valencia
Zenit St. Petersburg v Stuttgart
Marseille v FC Twente
Shakhtar Donetsk v TOTTENHAM
UEFA Cup, Last 16:
Werder Bremen or AC Milan v Olympiakos or Saint-Etienne
ASTON VILLA or CSKA Moscow v Shakhtar Donetsk or TOTTENHAM
Lech Poznan or Udinese v Zenit St Petersburg or Stuttgart
Paris Saint-Germain or Wolfsburg v Braga or Standard Liege
Dynamo Kiev or Valencia v Sampdoria or Metalist Kharkiv
Copenhagen or MANCHESTER CITY v Aalborg or Deportivo
Marseille or FC Twente v Fiorentina or Ajax
NEC Nijmegen or Hamburg v Bordeaux or Galatasaray
They do two draws at once, compounding their lameness, and the draw is kind for Mark Hughes. That said, they are good at losing when you expect them not to. The big story is that Villa and Spurs could meet in the next round should they both advance past tricky opposition. I couldn’t care less. Best of luck to all involved. My money’s on Valencia to win it all.
So, thoughts? Predictions? We’ll have a competition winner later today.
*In recent years, the Serie A hasn’t done too well against the EPL. Remember 2005, Meeelan? Seriously though, side thought: how about a pre-season tournament kinda like the College Basketball Big 10/ACC Challenge, only for Serie A and EPL to duke it out. I’d watch that from beginning to end. Or a “La Liga/EPL Challenge.” Would be sweet, right?
Written by Darkvader on December 19th, 2008 with no comments.
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While you were tucked up in bed dreaming of all the transfers your team won’t make in January, that FIFA Club World Cup Trophyship TourneyShield was taking place over in Japan, and with an almost full-strength Man United XI on display, one would expect the score to have been rather emphatic.
Instead, the final result had a touch of Benny Hill to it. But seriously, 6 goals in 17 minutes?
Of course, United still prevailed by the score of 5-3, but not before some late fun from both teams in the second half, giving the match more of an NBA All-Star Game feel thanks to its invisible defense.
Rooney’s contribution was perhaps best of all, summing him up in his brief 17-minute appearance (yes - as soon as he came on, the goals began). Young Wayne managed 2 goals and 1 yellow card within 4 minutes. He’s nothing if not efficient.
Hideo Yashimoto’s injury-time strike was the pick of the litter. Anyone think Roman might buy him for 8 million? Meanwhile, Fergie’s men will play LDU Quito in the final.
Written by Darkvader on December 18th, 2008 with no comments.
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NOT UF’s xmas party (which will be late this year)Christmas is always a weird time in the workplace, mainly because of the holiday parties. Your brain fills with quandaries (or not, if you’re like us): how drunk can I get? What can I say that’s not inappropriate? Will anyone notice if I bed a co-worker? Plus, they don’t always end in kisses under the mistletoe.
While it’s true that not as many companies have been holding them this year thanks to the Economic Meltdownalypsecaust, you can always count on Manchester United to furnish the tired, aching paparazzi with a few good photos.
Last year’s party theme appeared to be “Rape“, while this year they went for “Looking Brain Dead for the Camera.” A wise late substitution.
Even Ade and Willie Gauloises turned out for the fun! The top 3 drunk faces after the jump.
#1: Carlos Tevez.
It was his battle to lose, but there’s a glimmer of sadness hidden in his barely-open eyes. Perhaps it’s a nod to his permanent place on the bench.
#2: Paul Scholes.
An excellent effort from the tiny ginger midfielder. Newly blind and still managing to look put together. Impressive.
#3: Emmanuel Adebayor.
Proof that something Arsenal-related will finish higher than 4th this season. Ade’s perplexed, goofy stupor goes a long way to explaining how wasteful he’s become in front of goal. His mind is clearly focused elsewhere, like fraternizing with Fergie and wondering how Robin van Persie has become the biggest scoring threat at his club.
Written by Darkvader on December 16th, 2008 with no comments.
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There are several unwavering lessons in soccer: never bet against the Germans, if you’re going to tackle from behind, make sure it counts, and the latest one: don’t mess with Wayne Rooney. If the irascible, potato-headed striker gets frustrated or flustered, well, let’s just say the results aren’t pretty.
Yesterday’s unlucky recipient of this logic was Aab Aalborg midfielder Kasper Risgaard, who received his wisdom via flying feet and cleat marks somewhere in the chest region.
To the tape! And, to the post-match quotes!
First, the video evidence. I am not a physicist by any means, but there’s more than just gravity at work there. Perhaps a soupcon of malice? Wayne was surely irritated at his side’s scrappy performance against the eliminated Danish side, not to mention the lack of success in front of goal at Old Trafford. The video shows a couple of other incidents, including a baffling kick on a defender with the ball nowhere near, and some shoving with a defender once the ball has gone. I’m not saying he should be sent off, but there’s some middle ground there! The ref didn’t do a thing!
Unsurprisingly, everyone’s weighing in, including coaches and players.
We get the victim’s response first. What say you, young Risgaard?
“I don’t know what he was thinking but he jumped on my chest. I don’t know why but I think he was a little bit frustrated. But I don’t understand it because they were playing good football and the score was 1-1 at the time. Anywhere else but here and it would have been a red card. But the referee didn’t say anything. I think referees are frightened to punish players at Old Trafford, and especially players like Rooney. But I can see the marks on my chest - big marks. He’s apologized, so that’s OK. But there was another incident too when he used his arm to hurt one of our players. I don’t think it looks good on television.”
Fair point about Old Trafford, and there is definitely something about Rooney and his temper that we’ve seen before that makes me wonder. He’s a fiery player (in the best and worst sense of the word), but it looks like he did get lucky with this one.
Aalborg manager Allan Kuhn was also non-committal as to intent, although upon further review (something that UEFA said they might do as both linesmen and the referee missed the incident) he might change his mind:
It is not good for a fantastic footballer. You have to keep your head and stay calm in situations like that - but that man was a little bit frustrated. I was not sure during the game and I have not seen the pictures, so I cannot be 100% sure, but some of my people have seen it and said it was.”
Of course Fergie looked at it the other way: AaB were the dirty ones, not Wayne! “Aalborg are not short of tackles are they? They got stuck in and the one on Carlos was a blatant attack. Probably what saved him was that Carlos got straight up.”
You have to admire the man’s ability to deflect and change the subject completely. What we should be talking about is the goalkeeper’s tackle on Tevez, not young Wayne!
Will anything come of this? Probably not - the news cycle is fickle and fast-paced like that. But it still merits some debate, mainly because Rooney is that type of character, capable of moments of brilliance and moments of madness at any given time. We’ve seen it in an Everton shirt, in the England shirt, and plenty of times in Manc red.
Written by Darkvader on December 11th, 2008 with no comments.
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WHEN ARSENE DISRESPECTS US WITH HIS TEAM SELECTION, IT MAKES ME SO MAD AAARGH
It’s the final day of the final CL matchday for this year, with plenty of mathematical jostling to determine group winners and runners-up, which is longhand for “figuring out who has to play Barca in the Round of 16.”
Good luck to whoever pulls that poisoned chalice.
Oh, and Norwich are playing Watford tonight as well. It’s all happening!
Will those Canaries shape up and continue their impressive form of the last 5 days? Will Hulk go crazy when faced with so many children in the Arsenal starting XI? Will Alex Ferguson complain about something? Will we ever understand why the Man U game ended up on ESPN2 today? Will Celtic salvage some self-respect and dignity from their dreadful showing in the CL this season?
So many unanswered questions. Let’s find some answers in the comments, shall we?
Come turn green and SMASH with us after the jump.
STARTING LINEUPS:
—–
FC Porto v. Arsenal
Porto: Helton, Fucile, Rolando, Alves, Emanuel, Gonzalez, Fernando, Meireles, Lopez, HULK, Rodriguez.
Subs: Nuno, Stepanov, Guarin, Mariano Gonzalez, Lino, Sektioui, Costa.
Arsenal: Almunia, Eboue, Gallas, Silvestre, Djourou, Ramsey, Diaby, Song, Denilson; Vela, Bendtner.
Subs: Fabianski, Wilshere, Gibbs, Hoyte, Merida, Randall, Simpson.
—
Manchester United v. AaB Aalborg
Man Utd: Kuszczak, Neville, Ferdinand, Evans, O’Shea, Nani, Gibson, Anderson, Giggs, Rooney, Tevez.
Subs: Foster, Park, Vidic, Scholes, Rafael Da Silva, Fletcher, Possebon.
AaB: Zaza, Bogelund, Olfers, Jakobsen, Pedersen, Curth, Enevoldsen, Augustinussen, Risgaard, Due, Saganowski.
Subs: Kenneth Nielsen, Nomvethe, Caca, Braemer, Sorensen, Kristensen, Ronnie Schwartz Nielsen.
—
Celtic v. Villareal
Celtic: Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, McManus, Wilson, Nakamura, Scott Brown, Hartley, McGeady, Maloney, Samaras.
Subs: Mark Brown, McDonald, Loovens, Mizuno, O’Dea, Caddis, McGowan.
Villarreal: Viera, Angel, Fuentes, Rodriguez, Bruno, Cani, Senna, Edmilson, Fernandez, Franco, Ibagaza.
Subs: Diego Lopez, Eguren, Pires, Santi Cazorla, Cygan, Nihat.
—
The draw for the next round is at noon on Friday, December 19. Remember: teams from the same country can’t play each other. I eagerly await Spartak London getting the easiest draw possible. No really, I can’t wait for that.
Written by Darkvader on December 10th, 2008 with no comments.
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The FA’s banned Patrice Evra for 4 games and fined him $30,000 for that groundskeeper scuffle at Stamford Bridge back in April. Burning question here: why on earth did it take this long?
[Sky Sports]
Written by Darkvader on December 5th, 2008 with no comments.
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The Reds Devils hope to end Real Madrid’s interest in the Portuguese superstar by tying him down to a long-term deal.
Ronaldo is reported to be wanting around £175,000 a week to stay at Old Trafford.
And a representative from Ronaldo’s agents Gestifute confirmed: “It is normal that a footballer wants a deal to go with his status and one that matches his performances on the field.
“But nobody has prepared anything concrete.
“We want to avoid all these rumours in the press and will have contact with United.
“We do predict a meeting with Manchester United to speak about the future of Ronaldo but still there is not an exact date.”
Written by ruzzel on November 30th, 2008 with no comments.
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CRISTIANO RONALDO hit his 100th goal in a United shirt as party time continued at Old Trafford.
The club were already celebrating Alex Ferguson’s 50 years in football and the visit of Stoke provided the perfect cannon fodder for an entertaining afternoon at the Theatre of Dreams.
Ronaldo put the home side ahead with a typically vicious free-kick inside five minutes and added another in the last minute as United ran riot.
Further goals by Michael Carrick, Dimitar Berbatov and 17-year-old Danny Welbeck kept United eight points behind the leaders.
United boss Ferguson reckons Ronaldo is back to his brilliant best following his summer recuperation from an ankle injury.
He said: “That is nine for the season now. I am sure he will be into double figures very soon.
“Overall, he has scored 101 times in 253 appearances, which is an unbelievable return for a winger.
“He is back now that’s for sure. We have been waiting for him to get a free-kick and the power he hit the first one with was very impressive.â€
Stoke boss Tony Pulis must have known he was in for a tough afternoon when the Portugal star’s early strike dipped and swerved to fool the big Dane Thomas Sorensen in the Potters’ goal.
And the visitors’ main weapon was nullified as well - thanks to the steep slope around the pitch at Old Trafford.
It meant the Rory Delap was struggling to get enough momentum on his missile-like throws, although he did get enough purchase on one to force Edwin van der Sar into a smart save in the first half.
Carrick doubled the lead right on the stroke of half-time.
Ronaldo was the provider but the former Spurs midfielder still had a lot to do as he fired a terrific left-foot strike from 10 yards that proved too much for Sorensen.
A superb finish by Berbatov made it three.
Darren Fletcher played in Carlos Tevez and he set up the Bulgarian for a typically classy finish, lashing in a volley from six yards out.
United duo Darron Gibson, 21, and Welbeck came on for their Premier League debuts and the latter capped a perfect debut by hitting the fourth six minutes from time.
Ronaldo then crashed in his second free-kick in the dying minutes - with again Sorensen getting a hand to the strike.
A cruise for United but one they desperately needed to keep up the pressure on Liverpool and Chelsea at the top of the table.
Pulis reckons his players will soon shake off the disappointment.
He said: “We were doing okay until United scored just before half-time.
“When they got another just afterwards, it killed us.
“We have done quite well against the other big clubs this season but once we had to chase the game, United just picked us off.â€
Man Utd: Van der Sar, O’Shea, Vidic, Evans, Evra, Ronaldo, Carrick, Fletcher (Gibson 63), Park (Welbeck 63), Tevez (Manucho 74), Berbatov. Subs not used: Foster, Anderson, Nani, Rafael Da Silva. Booked: Evra. Goals: Ronaldo 3, Carrick 45, Berbatov 49, Welbeck 84,Ronaldo 89.
Stoke: Sorensen, Griffin (Wilkinson 79), Abdoulaye Faye, Shawcross, Higginbotham, Olofinjana (Cresswell 31), Diao, Amdy Faye, Delap, Fuller (Kitson 68), Sidibe. Subs not used: Simonsen, Cort, Whelan, Tonge. Booked: Fuller, Delap.
Written by ruzzel on November 16th, 2008 with no comments.
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Careful, lads. Gerrard’s fired up today, practically falling all over himself in desperation to get in on the action.
Honestly though, do Celtic have a chance in hell? Do either of these games even matter?
Group E
–
AaB v Villarreal
Celtic v Man Utd
Group F
–
Fiorentina v Bayern Munich
Lyon v Steaua Bucuresti
Group G
–
Arsenal v Fenerbahce
Dynamo Kiev v FC Porto
Group H
–
BATE v Zenit St Petersburg
Real Madrid v Juventus
Lineups:
Celtic v. Man United
Celtic: Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, McManus, Wilson, Hartley, Scott Brown, Robson, Maloney, McDonald, Sheridan.
Subs: Mark Brown, Naylor, Donati, Hutchinson, Nakamura, O’Dea, Caddis.
Man Utd: Foster, Rafael Da Silva, Ferdinand, Vidic, O’Shea, Ronaldo, Fletcher, Carrick, Nani, Tevez, Giggs.
Subs: Kuszczak, Evra, Anderson, Berbatov, Rooney, Park, Evans.
Arsenal v. Fenerbahce
Arsenal: Fabianski, Toure, Djourou, Silvestre, Clichy, Ramsey, Fabregas, Denilson, Nasri, Bendtner, Van Persie.
Subs: Mannone, Diaby, Sagna, Vela, Song Billong, Wilshere, Gibbs.
Fenerbahce: Demirel, Gonul, Edu Dracena, Lugano, Roberto Carlos, Maldonado, Sahin, Boral, Kazim-Richards, Senturk, Guiza.
Subs: Babacan, Wederson, Yilmaz, Josico, Bilgin, Cakmak, Deivid.
Written by Darkvader on November 5th, 2008 with no comments.
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CRISTIANO RONALDO has vowed to win over the Manchester United fans — just like he did after the 2006 World Cup.
The United winger has faced the wrath of supporters after making no secret of his desire to join Real Madrid in the summer.
Ronaldo returned a villain from Germany two years ago for his part in Wayne Rooney’s red card — and the infamous wink to the bench in Portugal’s win over England.
Ronaldo, 24, said: “A part of the supporters show themselves to be more unhappy than others. But I hope to change their minds.
“When I put on the United shirt I give my maximum. Nobody can condemn me on this.
“I hope it will be similar to when I came back to England after the 2006 World Cup and I can win the fans back.â€
Boss Alex Ferguson put his foot down and blocked the sale of Ronaldo to Spanish giants Real and accused them of trying to unsettle his most valuable asset. Yet Ron insists it was his decision to stay.
He added: “Nobody can convince me about anything. Since I was young I’ve had to make decisions, I make them alone.
“I want to win more at this club. If the boss thinks I have to stay on the bench I respect that, even if it’s difficult.â€
Written by ruzzel on November 2nd, 2008 with no comments.
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