Uzbek Club at the Heights of Scandal!

A new scandalous video has emerged which has cast doubt on the future of one of the minnows of global soccer. During an after-match interview, one of the players on the club decided to be extremely forthcoming regarding recent allegations, and it is only a matter of time before the league officials take action.

This shocking video is presented below, followed by a translation of the relevant questions and answers.

Steve Dassidot, the player seen giving the interview, plys his trade for the Uzbek club Pakhtakor Tashkent. When the French-born player gave this interview to a reporter for a Paris news agency, Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini must have both had an aneurysm. Allow me to take you step-by-step through the outrageousness.

5 secs in - We see Dassidot’s line for the game; CSC (contre son camp; i.e. an OG) in the 47th minute and 58th minute)

25 secs in - After being asked about scoring 2 OGs, Dassidot admits that the club president of the opposition paid him off, and that it was difficult to resist the offer of $4000 on the table

55 secs in - After noting that these were his 3rd and 4th OGs this season, Dassidot states that his tactics have allowed him to move to 3 different clubs this season, ensuring future financial opportunities

1:10 secs in - When the reporter asks why Tirec had such a horrible game, Dassidot replies that their coach had instructed them not to pass to him

1:20 secs in - Dassidot says that Tirec slept with the coaches wife the previous night, and the coach was determined to ruin his career

1:30 secs in - Dassidot notes that the referee, who is the cousin of the club president, gave Tirec a red card just as instructed (at this point in the video we can actually see the ref come out of the locker room with money in his hands)

1:35 secs in - the reporter notes that Tirec’s red card was completely undeserved, and Dassidot agrees, noting that it was he, not Tirec, who called the referee “a son of a whore”

Overall this is just an unbelievable video. There are allegations of match-fixing, bribery of referees, and inter-club shenanigans which cause much consternation for the proper officials. Stay tuned for more news as this story continues to develop!

Written by Darkvader on January 5th, 2009 with no comments.
Read more articles on Frenchmen and Mirth and The NY Kid.

Ligue 1 Weekend Review: Mid-Season Reflections

Because I know that all of you follow my Ligue 1 ramblings quite judiciously (stop laughing), I decided that I would take a look back at my season preview to get some sense of where I stand. Was I way off in my predictions? Spot on? Fair to middling? Ligue 1 doesn’t start back up for another 2 weeks, so this is all you’ll get until then.

I tapped some individuals to be difference-makers among those who had been transfers this season. Let’s grade those choices, shall we?

(1) Cedric Faure (Le Havre AC) - umm, moving on (I mean, 1 goal in 10 matches?)

(2) Anthony Le Tallec (Le Mans UC 72) - Le Tallec has looked dangerous at times, although the majority of his presence on the pitch has been in the capacity of being juuuuuuuuuuust out of position; his 1 goal in 18 matches trails the pace of Gervinho (5 goals in 17 matches) by far

(3) Hugo Lloris (Olympique Lyonnais) - the young GK has come up huge time and time again for Lyon, giving up only 12 goals this season

(4) Jean Makoun (Olympique Lyonnais) - the Cameroonian has just 2 goals in 19 matches; although he has been in the starting line-up 15 times, the weight of the offense has been on Karim Benzema, with Juninho and Fred providing additional pressure

(5) Milan Baros (Olympique Lyonnais) - Baros had actually been on loan to Pompey, and was supposed to rejoin Lyon for this season, but instead he was shipped off to Galatasaray where he leads the Turkcell Süper Lig with 14 goals

(6) Hatem ben Arfa (Olympique de Marseille) - the French international has easily made the switch from Lyon and looks comfortable at all times on the pitch; his 6 goals is actually tied for first on his own club with Bakari Kone and Mamadou Niang, but it is ben Arfa’s presence that has allowed for the more equitable goal-scoring

(7) Sammy Traore (Paris Saint-Germain) - the aging defender has played in 12 matches and picked up 1 yellow card; his presence on the pitch has been largely uninspiring although he has at least managed to avoid making any huge noticeable gaffes

(8) Claude Makelele (Paris Saint-Germain) - the Chelsea reject has more cards (6) than goals/assists (umm, 0 - as in, zero) in 16 matches, and has made almost no difference for PSG this season; the ancient French international will likely only get 1 more season in the capital

(9) Carlos Bocanegra (Stade Rennais FC) - the former Fulhamerica star has anchored the backline for Rennes, starting every match and leading them to 3rd in Ligue 1 while conceding only 13 goals

How about my predictions for individual clubs?

“Bordeaux may struggle to make the same sort of push they did last year…”

Oops. Les Girondins currently sit 2nd in Ligue 1 and looked poised for an easy Top 4 finish after significant draws against Lyon, Marseille, and Rennes. Just so Joe doesn’t feel like a front-runner, remember that the last time Bordeaux were truly good (other than last season) was the 1998/1999 season, so they aren’t exactly ManUre here.

“However [Marseille's] defense are untested, and Mandanda has looked shaky…”

Considering some of the goals that Mandanda has let in, this was spot-on. While Marseille are at 5th in Ligue 1, this is mostly in spite of, not due to, the French Calamity James and his defense.

“…look out for Saint-Etienne seeking to regain their old-school form with the play of new-school striker Bafetimbi Gomis.”

Saint-Etienne are fighting relegation in 17th place in Ligue 1, and Gomis has a grand total of 4 goals.

“look out for Monaco looking to give Freddy Adu some run…”

Freddy has logged an astounding 97 minutes as a late substitute in 9 matches - hey, I said some run.

“look out for Rennes building off their 4-4 tie with L’OM…”

I was spot-on here as well. Rennes have stunned Ligue 1 with a streak of 18 unbeaten, and are sitting pretty at 3rd in Ligue 1.

“look out for Paris Saint-Germain…playing off new imports Makelele and Giuly…”

Not so much for Makelele, who has been largely ineffective, but Giuly has provided a soothing presence up top for PSG, chipping in with 3 goals and 1 assist.

“The relegation battle looks to consist of Le Havre, Le Mans, Grenoble, Lille, and Caen.”

I was spot-on about Le Havre, but that’s about all that I can say for myself here. Le Mans, Grenoble, and Caen are clustered at 11-13 and sit 8 points above the drop-zone, while Lille are 6th and only 6 points behind Ligue 1 leaders Lyon. It seems pretty clear at this point that relegation will befall Le Havre (20th, with 12 points on a 3-3-13 record), Sochaux (19th, with 14 points on a 1-11-7 record; 1 win!), and Valenciennes (18th, with 15 points on a 3-6-10 record). If Valenciennes begins to perform somewhat better, Saint-Etienne (19 points) and Nantes (20 points) are poised to take their place in the gutter.

So who have been the brightest stars and biggest disappointments in Ligue 1 so far?

While Karim Benzema was expected to be near the top of the goal-scorers’ table, the Ligue 1-leading 12 goals of Andre-Pierre Gignac (Toulouse FC) and the presence of Lille strike tandem of Michel Bastos (9 goals) and Ludovic Obraniak (7 goals) are quite the surprise. Guillaume Hoarau (PSG) and Fernando Cavenaghi (Bordeaux) are exciting young talents, and the latter has been linked to a January transfer to Spurs or Celtic.

As for disappointments, there are 2 that stand out. Makelele, despite his advanced age of 35, was expected to provide a significant contribution to PSG, both on the pitch and in the locker-room. Instead, he picked up 5 yellow cards in his first 7 matches and demonstrated how to sit on the bench and sulk, which he most likely learned from Anelka. The second is Bafetimbi Gomis who, after being given some run in French international matches, was expected to keep Saint-Etienne near the top of Ligue 1. Instead, he has looked listless on the pitch and appears poised to finish near the bottom of the table with his club.

Alright kids, that’s all from Ligue 1 for now. In 2 weeks we’ll find out whether Lyon can hold on to 1st place as they are pushed by Bordeaux, Rennes, PSG, and Marseille.

Written by Darkvader on December 28th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Ligue 1 and Results and The NY Kid and le championnat.

And so Year 2 Begins: A Look Back at Year 1

Soc-cer? It was that one simple, trite phrase from the unwashed masses at Deadspin that caused us to leap into action and form the genius that you all know and love today. With literally every instance of Hirshey’s “Closer” column the oh-so-hilarious footy naysayers would come out of the woodwork with their well-thought comment (seriously, searching for “Soc-cer?” on Deadspin would yield 1,279,321 hits). And finally, we had enough. A plea went out in the comments - “Who is interested in starting a soccer blog?” and the response was immediate from the hard-core gentlemen (sic) who formed this site (RIP Badly-Drawn Boykins - we still love ya, buddy!).

We’ve grown quite a bit since our first post on December 23rd, 2007 - we picked up some stragglers, diversifying the crew beyond Gooners and Scousers. We conducted several interviews, attended media events, and became live-blogging experts (well, some of us, at least). All told, it’s been a fantastic year, and we guarantee that we will be even better in Year 2.

But for now, as we look back on Year 1, it’s time for us to pat ourselves on the back as individuals. Although I haven’t been as busy as I would have liked over here, I still had 89 posts from which to choose my 5 favorites. And the nominees are:

(1) “Who Are: Tottenham Hotspur?” - With only my 3rd post I decided to mark my territory as any Arsenal supporter would - by pissing on Tottenham.

(2) “A Blog Divided: The Arsenal v. Liverpool Treble” - One of the first “group efforts” on the site where I solicited opinions from everyone on the upcoming matches (2 Champions League and 1 EPL) between the clubs supported by the majority of UFers. I think we all remember how things turned out.

(3) “Euro 2008 Liveblog: Germany v. Spain” - Liveblogging the Euro 2008 final was quite a treat, as the match ended 1-0 for Spain on a brilliant strike from Nando and we got 50 comments. Plus, our coverage of the entire tournament absolutely crushed Deadspin after our advances to provide coverage for them were dismissed. (But we still love you, Will!)

(4) “Silence, Bande de Cretins!” - Dealing with things near and dear to my heart (Les Bleus and La Marseillaise), I think I had just the right touch of seriousness along with a good self-deprecating joke at the end.

(5) “We Don’t Want to Rule the World, We Just Want to Piss Off the Brits” - The discussion of UEFA’s proposal for a “super-sports administrator” gets the nod purely because the ever-cranky Georger loved the use of the Ming the Merciless picture. And also because Platini, whom I grew up admiring, really is a douche.

So there it is - my 5 favorite posts from that scamp The NY Kid. Overall, I think the most fulfilling part of this experience for me has been providing my Ligue 1 coverage (and making a Bordeaux fan of jjf3) while not having to deal with (too many) French surrender jokes, despite the prevalence of Brits in the house. In truth, we rip each other because we all have a great respect for what we each bring to the table, and I think the site is better for it.

A great big thank you to all of our readers and commenters - we couldn’t have done it without you. And Happy Holidays, you crazy kids!

To Year 2, and beyond!

Written by Darkvader on December 24th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on The NY Kid and happy birthday UF.

Ligue 1 Weekend Review

This week’s best result was a tough choice, with two big scorelines surprising me on Sunday. In the end, the absolute drubbing of Marseille by Nancy was slightly more impressive than bottom-feeder Valenciennes drawing with PSG. The gap between the latter two clubs is bigger in the table, but the way that AS Nancy throttled Olympique de Marseille was simply too much to ignore.

Saturday, December 20th:

Grenoble 2-1 Le Mans - Grenoble had scored 0 goals in their last 6 matches but were able to generate enough offense to take the 3 points in this match. They began the pressure early, with Batlles forcing a save from Le Mans GK Pele. Batlles maintained that pressure and his free-kick in the 34th minute found Djadjedje. The latter’s shot crashed off the crossbar, but Baning was there to put in the rebound. Almost immediately after the break it was a Paillot header off another free-kick that gave Grenoble the 2-0 lead. Several minutes Gervinho sent in a shot that was parried by Grenoble GK Le Crom, and the rebound went directly to Maiga for the finish. Le Mans had one final chance to equalize and rescue the points, but Le Tallec’s header was saved easily be Le Crom.

Lille 3-1 Le Havre - Lille’s trio of firepower all scored to put down Le Havre in a match where the latter had more yellow cards shown than shots on goal. In a sign of things to come, the first chance of the match came for Lille in the 14th minute when Bastos played a backheel to Cabaye, whose pass to Obraniak resulted in a shot saved by Le Havre GK Revault. The result was a goal in the 30th minute when Bastos played an excellent pass through to Obraniak. The first chance for Le Havre came in the 42nd minute when ben Idir hit the crossbar, but they did not equalize until the 61st minute, on a nice shot from Alla (God Shammgod thinks that is an awesome name). In the 65th minute Revault was forced into a save by more excellent work from Bastos, followed shortly by Cabaye hitting the crossbar. In the 82nd minute Grenoble took the lead when Cabaye put the corner from Bastos into the back of the net, and the favor was returned in the 94th minute when Cabaye played Bastos through onto goal, beating the offside trap for an easy finish.

Lorient 1-2 Rennes - Continuing an incredible run, Rennes remained unbeaten in their last 17 matches to vault back into the top of the table. It was their physicality (20 fouls to 9; 4 yellow cards, including 1 to Bocanegra) which allowed them to boss Lorient all over the pitch, but they needed 2 late goals to take the 3 points. It was not from lack of trying, however, as Lemoine (17th minute), and Pagis (37th minute) forced Lorient GK Audard into saves. Lorient then began to pressure, with Jouffre having his shot cleared off the line in the 45th minute. That pressure paid off, as a Vahirua corner was slotted home by Morel in first-half injury time. Lorient looked to increase their lead with second-half pressure from Jouffre and Vahirua, both of whom forced Rennes GK Douchez into good saves. Rennes equalized in the 75th minute with Gyan (in his 1st Ligue 1 goal) on the end of a cross from Sow. The latter sealed the 3 points late in the match, receiving a pass from Pagis and dribbling around the stranded Audard.

Nantes 1-1 Sochaux - Despite only getting 1 shot on goal, Sochaux were able to make that shot count and hold on to 1 point in this match. In contrast, Sochaux GK Richert was kept busy, particularly in the first half as he was called upon to make saves on Da Rocha (30th minute), Djordjevic (35th minute), and N’Daw (40th minute). However, it was Sochaux who broke through first, with Erdinq scoring off a cross from Birsa in the 70th minute (despite also earning a yellow card, Erdinq doesn’t get the honors this week because Sochaux are still firmly in the relegation zone). Nantes rescued the point in the 86th minute when Capoue finished off a nice pass from Abdoun, who had been an 83rd minute substitute.

Saint-Etienne 2-0 Auxerre - Saint-Etienne got their 3rd win in 4 matches, and sent Auxerre to their 5th defeat in their last 7 but both teams remain towards the bottom of the table. Saint-Etienne found early pressure through Gomis and Gigliotti, but it was teammate Machado who got the goal in the 12th minute after sending his free-kick into the wall and collecting his own rebound for the finish. The second-half started with equal difficulty for Auxerre, as GK Riou was forced into an acrobatic save on a bicycle kick from Gomis. After having had no chances on goal in the first-half, Auxerre stepped up their play with Kahlenberg and Niculae eliciting nice saves from Saint-Etienne GK Janot. Gomis cemented the 3 points in the 89th minute with a cheeky lob over Riou that came against the run of play.

Toulouse 2-2 Nice - Nice scored 2 bookend goals around a brace from Gignac to earn the draw. The first goal came in the 6th minute when Modeste finished a pass from Echouafni, and Nice looked to be in good position. As the match progressed, it was Toulouse who began to look more comfortable, particularly Gignac who forced Nice GK Ospina into a good save before slotting a shot past him in the 33rd minute on a pass from Bergougnoux. The latter then played Sissoko through on goal, but Ospina made the save again. In the 86th minute a long ball from Bergougnoux resulted a volley from Mathieu. The shot was stopped by Ospina, but the rebound came directly to Gignac for his brace. Hognon left it late to rescue the 1 point, as he headed home the equalizer for Nice in the 93rd minute.

Caen 0-1 Lyon - Olympique Lyonnais had only taken 2 points from their last 4 matches, but Benzema made sure that his club would come out with the full 3 points against Caen. In the 15th minute Fred had a very weak shot easily saved by Caen GK Plante, and the mercurial Brazilian promptly disappeared for the rest of the match. 1 minute later, Savidan forced Lyon GK Lloris into his only save of the match. Juninho and Benzema then provided all the pressure, with the latter slotting home a 20-yard strike in the 44th minute for the match winner. Plante was kept busy for the rest of the match, making saves on Boumsong and Juninho in quick succession. Caen had an opportunity to equalize in the 79th minute, but Toudic’s volley was well off-target. Benzema thought he had a brace in the 87th minute, but he was adjudged to be offsides, and he had one last chance in the dying moments after receiving a pass from Govou but put the effort wide.

Sunday, December 21st:

Marseille 0-3 Nancy - The first day of winter brought a chilly reception for Marseille, as 22 shots and 67% of the possession went for naught. Nancy began early, with a header from Luiz in the 8th minute forcing a save from Marseille GK Mandanda. It was not until the 30th minute that L’OM got their first chance, with a shot from Cheyrou easily taken by Nancy GK Bracigliano (who later picked up a yellow card in an increasing trend for him). Just minutes later Nancy were ahead 1-0 on some defensive miscues, as Hadji jumped on a Gavanon corner amidst a scramble in the goal mouth. In the 39th minute, just 5 minutes after his first, Hadji had a brace as a pass from Brison sprung the trap and Marseille stood with their arms in the air clamoring for offsides. Marseille’s only other legitimate chance came in the 55th minute after Samassa forced a good save from Bracigliano. Just 1 minute later the destruction was complete as Dia poached the ball from Ziani and lashed a 20-yard strike past Mandanda. The damage could have been even worse in the 63rd minute as Gavanon hit the post, but I’m sure Nancy were satisfied with the 3-0 thrashing.

Paris Saint-Germain 2-2 Valenciennes - The club from the capital looked to take the 3 points, but twice Valenciennes fought back from a deficit to equalize. In the 10th minute a Belmadi diving header was well-saved by PSG GK Landreau, and Hoarau immediately responded with a goal for PSG but was adjudged to have been offsides. Hoarau would get his goal in the 27th minute off a cross from Ceara, and the rest of the first-half was relatively listless. The second-half started off quickly, with some poor PSG defense on a cross allowing Mater to score in the 46th minute for the equalizer. PSG pushed to regain the lead, with a well-struck volley from Giuly well-saved by Valenciennes GK Penneteau in the 57th minute. The pressure resulted in a goal in the 72nd minute when Penneteau was only able to push aside a shot from Sessegnon directly into the path of Rothen for the finish. Sessegnon was then extremely unlucky in the 76th minute, as his shot hit both the crossbar and the post. PSG would rue that missed opportunity as Pujol lashed a shot off the crossbar in the 84th minute and Tiene put the rebound into the back of the net for the equalizer.

Monaco 3-4 Bordeaux - In perhaps the craziest match of the season, Monaco scored on every shot on goal to go up 3-0, only to watch Bordeaux steal the 3 points with 2 goals in the last 3 minutes. Pino opened the scoring for Monaco in the 13th minute with a vicious 30-yard free-kick that found the top-right corner of the goal. Bordeaux then had their only opportunity of the first-half snuffed out as Monaco GK Ruffier made a nice save on Cavenaghi. Licata gave his club the 2-0 lead right before the half as he took advantage of some hesitant defense to score. Almost immediately on the other side of half-time, Licata completed his brace when he headed home an excellent cross from Pino. Monaco must have felt in complete control, even when Chamakh (a half-time substitution) cut into the lead by heading home a Gourcuff free-kick a short time later in the 53rd minute. When Diarra sent in a 20-yard strike that beat Ruffier in the 67th minute, Monaco must have gotten slightly more nervous. When Chamakh completed his brace in the 87th minute by heading home a Gourcuff corner, Monaco must have been praying for the whistle to preserve the draw and the point. And when Chamakh provided the assist to Cavenaghi for the winning goal in the 89th minute, the club from the principality were left with nothing for their efforts. Despite his yellow card coming for his celebratory antics, Chamakh does indeed take home the “Goal-scorer to get carded” awarded on the basis of his Gordie Howe hat-trick. Freddy Adu watch: Freddy came on for Licata in the 75th minute, and promptly earned a yellow card in the 76th minute. Normally I’m all for getting Freddy some playing time, but Licata had a brace and by the 75th minute Monaco were only leading 3-2 - maybe Licata wasn’t the best guy to take off?

So, after a thoroughly entertaining matchday 19, the top of the table looks like this: (1) Lyon, with 38 points on an 11-5-3 record and a +11 goal differential; (2) Bordeaux, with 35 points on a 10-5-4 record and a +4 goal differential; (3) Rennes, with 34 points on an 8-10-1 record and a +11 goal differential; and (4) Paris Saint-Germain, with 33 points on a 10-3-6 record and a +7 goal differential. In a week that featured numerous high-scoring games and an avalanche of yellow cards (was Howard Webb in charge of all of these matches?), Bordeaux jump from 3rd to 2nd, L’OM fall from 2nd to 5th, and Rennes jump from 5th to 3rd, while Lyon and PSG stand pat.

Stay tuned for the “Ligue 1 Halfway Review” later this week!

Written by Darkvader on December 21st, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Ligue 1 and Results and The NY Kid and le championnat.

Sydney Govou Does Not Deal Well With Draws

Because it’s French vodka, see?

“A test showed the striker had 2.6 grammes of alcohol per litre of blood, which is more than five times over the French legal limit of 0.5 grammes.”

Written by Darkvader on December 16th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Drunk-driving and Les Bleus and Lyon and Sydney Govou and The NY Kid.

Dear Red Scouse: We Will Grind You Under Our Boots on Sunday. And Then Donate to Charity.

As most of you are aware, the majority of us here at UF are either Liverpool or Arsenal supporters (shenanigans of The Likely Lad and Autoglass notwithstanding). So this Sunday represents a big opportunity for both sides. Liverpool can continue to cement their place at the top of the table with a win, while Arsenal could potentially move back into fourth (sigh) by beating the league leaders.

Of course we Gunners would like to engage in a 7-0 beating at the Emirates, but the true point of the match is to demonstrate that we are morally superior in every way (after all, we never burgled Almunia’s house, now did we?). And how do we do that?

Every year Arsenal take on a “Charity of the Season”, and this year that charity is the Teenage Cancer Trust. As part of their continuing “Be a Gooner, Be a Giver” campaign, the club hope to raise £300,000 (approximately $460,000) for the cause. Going a long way toward that goal are the matchday salaries of the entire club for their tilt against Liverpool this Sunday at the Emirates. In addition, many of the Gunners took part in a promotional film where they put on skits directed by some of the cancer patients.

In a touching moment, when Wenger, Almunia and Fabregas went to visit the cancer ward they found that young Jack Chester, a former Arsenal trainee for 3 years, was one of the patients. The aspiring goalkeeper can even see the Emirates from the cancer ward on the 12th floor of the hospital, and he has said that he hopes to be able to one day play footy again.

So, while we get all riled up and text-message each other nasty thoughts on Sunday, we should remember that sometimes it is about more than just the game.

Written by Darkvader on December 15th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Arsenal-Liverpool and The NY Kid and charity.

Ligue 1 Weekend Review

Although the most anticipated match-up of the weekend was the Lyon v. Marseille tilt, is is Bordeaux who get the best result, getting an important 3 points to move into 3rd place in Ligue 1. Overall, the weekend featured quite a bit of scoring (and an unusually high number of 3-1 results) but ended with a nil-nil draw in the battle for 1st place.

Saturday, December 13th:

Auxerre 1-2 Paris Saint-Germain - In a very even match, it was the early pace and pressure of Sessegnon that made the difference. In the 5th minute a free-kick from Rothen was flicked to the post by Armand for a waiting (and unmarked) Sessegnon to open the scoring. In the 13th minute Lejeune missed a chance to equalize, and in the 22nd minute Sessegnon put PSG up 2-0 after beating 2 defenders. Auxerre had the better pressure in the second-half, with Quercia forcing a save from PSG GK Landreau in the 60th minute and Niculae hitting the crossbar just 1 minute later. That pressure paid off in the 86th minute when Traore took down Oliech in the 6-yard box, with Hengbart slotting home the resulting PK, but Auxerre were unable to score the equalizer.

Le Mans 1-3 Bordeaux - Despite getting more shots on target, Le Mans found themselves on the wrong end of a strong score. The majority of the action was in the second-half, which started early when Gervinho had his shot blocked in the 48th minute. Bordeaux opened the scoring in the 59th minute when Cavenaghi’s shot took a slight deflection off a defender and went into the goal. Helstad responded in the 67th minute with a brilliant run, beating 2 defenders and a difficult angle on the shot for the equalizer. Chalme then put Bordeaux back ahead in the 76th minute with a cheeky long-range lob over Le Mans GK Pele. Jussie finished off the scoring in the 94th minute (that’s just rubbing it in) when he latched onto a long clearance from Chamakh and fired it home.

Nancy 2-0 Grenoble - Nancy dominated the match, taking more shots and winning 5 corners (to 0 for Grenoble), and the pressure showed in the score. They started early, as Hadji headed his shot barely over the crossbar in the 3rd minute. Akrour responded in the 8th minute, forcing a save from Nancy GK Bracigliano, but after that it was the Berenguer show. The first goal came in the 17th minute when Feret finished off a nice cross from Zerka into the bottom-right corner. Just minutes later Berenguer put a rocket of a free-kick just wide of the post. In the 28th minute, Djedje looked for the equalizer, but Bracigliano was there for another save. 1 minute later Berenguer sent a header just wide, and right before the half he sent another screaming shot barely wide again. In the 56th minute Grenoble just missed equalizing again, as Robin hit the bar, and Dia put the game away in the 66th minute after another well-delivered pass from Zerka.

Sochaux 2-2 Caen - In a thoroughly entertaining match, Sochaux domainted statistically (9 shots on goal; 63%-27% possession) but didn’t rescure the 1 point until very late in the match. In the 14th minute Savidan headed the ball just wide of the Sochaux goal, but not much later the scoring was opened when an Adnane corner-kick was spilled by Sochaux GK Richert to the feet of Nivet, who fed Gomis for the easy finish. It wasn’t until the 35th minute that Sochaux threatened, with Perquis forcing a save from Caen GK Plante. The 2nd goal of the match came in the 69th minute when Nivet fed Gomis for another easy finish, securing the “Goal-scorer to get carded” award for this week with a brace. Sochaux gaffer Francis Gillot brought on Privat in the 73rd minute, and the decision paid dividends almost immediately as Privat pounced on poorly-punched clearance from Caen GK Plante for the finish. The draw was complete in the 89th minute when Privat latched onto an Isbay free-kick with an amazing finish (around the 2-minute mark in the clip).

Toulouse 3-1 Saint-Etienne - Toulouse came out early, with Gignac catching Saint-Etienne GK Janot completely flat-footed in the 5th minute. After some minor pressure from both sides, Saint-Etienne equalized in the 37th minute when Machado’s free-kick hit the post and then hit the back of the net. Didot put Toulouse back on top in first-half stoppage time as a poor clearance from Janot was sent back in immediately and caught the GK by surprise. Gignac finished his brace in the 55th minute, beating Janot (who had a nightmare performance) at the near post. Gignac also had 2 chances at completing his hat-trick, but was unable to capitalize.

Valenciennes 3-1 Monaco - Relegation-bound Valenciennes bossed Monaco all over the pitch, forcing the principality club into 24 fouls and only 1 shot on goal. Monaco GK Ruffier was busy all day, and early as he made quick saves on Audel and Pujol in the opening stages. Things looked better for Monaco when Pino put in his first Ligue 1 goal in the 23rd minute, but Valenciennes equalized just 6 minutes later through a wonderful free-kick from Sanchez-Moreno. The rest of the match was one-sided, as Audel’s volley hit the post in the 36th minute and Belmadi’s volley in the 41st minute resulted in the lead for his club. Pino did manage to hit the crossbar for Monaco, but the end came in the 59th minute when a Danic cross was headed in by Pujol. Danic almost got his second assist towards the end of the match, but Audel’s header was well-saved by the well-tested Ruffier. Freddy Adu watch: On the bench, but 0 minutes of playing time. Really, Jean Petit? Your club is down 3-1 after 60 minutes, and you can’t give Freddy some run out for the final half-hour in an attempt to spark something?

Rennes 0-0 Nantes - Despite holding Nantes to 0 shots on goal and holding 63% of the possession, Rennes found itself only able to take 1 point from this match. Rennes missed a chance to move within 1 point of Ligue 1 leaders Lyon, but apparently Nantes were motivated to get the 1 point to move them out of the relegation zone. The basement club almost opened the scoring early, but Bagayoko’s header went wide in the 1st minute and a free-kick from N’Daw in the 4th minute hit the post. Rennes’ best chance came in the 35th minute when Nantes GK Heurtebis spilled a Cheyrou free-kick, but Ekoko put the follow-up well over the crossbar. Ultimately, neither side could produce enough pressure to make the breakthrough and they had to share the points.

Sunday, December 14th:

Le Havre 1-3 Lorient - Despite giving up 13 corner-kicks, Lorient had the better match, taking all 3 points. The first legitimate chance of the match came for Le Havre in the 24th minute, but Dieuze’s shot was well-saved by Lorient GK Audard. In the 30th minute Le Havre GK Revault made an excellent double-save, first stopping Gameiro’s header and then getting in front of the follow-up from Abriel. Lorient finally broke through in the 41st minute, with a streaking shot from Mansouri deflecting into the net off a defender. They doubled their lead in first-half stoppage time when Gameiro beat the offside trap and dribbled around Revault to put the ball into the empty net. Dieuze pulled 1 back for Le Havre in the 67th minute with a vicious volley off a Gillet cross, but Vohirua secured the points for Lorient minutes later when he lobbed Revault.

Nice 0-1 Lille - Lille took 20 shots in the match, but they only needed their first for the win. In the 8th minute Bastos got on the end of an Obraniak cross for the clean finish and the only goal of the match. He had an opportunity for the brace in the 11th minute, but the shot was well-saved by Nice GK Ospina. The driving rain in the second-half ensured a more defensive match, and the only good opportunity for Nice to equalize came in the 70th minute when Fae had his shot well-saved by Lille GK Malicki.

Lyon 0-0 Marseille - In the much-hyped match-up between 2 giants of French football, the resulting nil-nil draw cut Lyon’s lead at the top from 4 points to 2 points. The match was fairly even, but relatively slow, with more yellow cards distributed (a veritable who’s who of cards going to Toulalan and Grosso for Lyon, and Zubar, Ben Arfa, and Zenden for Marseille) than shots on goal. Marseille suffered from the absence of Niang, as the striker had 8 goals in his previous 8 matches against Lyon. The first shot on goal came in the 28th minute when a well-taken Juninho free-kick was saved by Marseille GK Mandanda. The theme continued throughout the match, as Juninho had 2 more free-kicks saved by Mandanda in the 36th and 60th minutes. Marseille’s first good chance came in the 33rd minute when a volley from Valbuena was stopped by Lyon GK Lloris. In the 42nd minute Govou hit the post, and that was the end of the action until late in the second-half. Samassa hit the crossbar in the 85th minute, and Kallstrom forced a final save from Mandanda in the 90th minute. The only other thing of note was that Ben Arfa, making his first return after moving to Marseille from Lyon during the summer transfer, was whistled by the Lyon fans when he was substituted in the 81st minute.

So, after matchday 18 the top of the table looks like this: (1) Lyon, with 35 points on a 10-5-3 record and a +10 goal differential; (2) Marseille, with 32 points on an 8-8-2 record and a +12 goal differential; (3) Bordeaux, with 32 points on a 9-5-4 record and a +11 goal differential; and (4) Paris Saint-Germain, with 32 points on a 10-2-6 record and a +7 goal differential. Almost half-way through the season and things are tightening up at the top! Lyon has a fight on their hands if they want to take their 8th straight Ligue 1 title.

Written by Darkvader on December 14th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Ligue 1 and Results and The NY Kid and le championnat.

Uh-Oh: Zidane Isn’t Happy

Everyone knows that Zidane has kept busy, albeit with a lower profile, since retiring from footy after “the incident.” He’s been hilariously linked to MLS squads, been used as evidence, and been turned away from comforting his friends. In France, however, Zizou will always be a legend, and the French media continually chase after him to ask him loads of useless questions.

But this time around, Le Parisien decided to do something a little different and they got Zizou to agree to be “interviewed” by some of their readers. Some of the notable questions and answers, translated for you below:

Q: You have recently been criticized in several books, notably that of Jerome Rothen, who says that you insulted him during a European club match. What is your reaction?

A: I haven’t really wanted to respond before now, since I have better things to do. With everything happening in the world today, there are more important things. (Ed. note - pretty standard so far). That’s his (Rothen’s) version of the story, not mine. I know where it comes from, and I’ve said some stupid things in my life, but on that day (emphasis mine; so, is Zizou saying that he has insulted Rothen on another day?) I did not say that to him. But it bothers me that this comes out in a book when we have crossed paths 5 or 6 times and he never said anything to me about it. I called him and left a message, but didn’t hear back. And then I hear that he said it was all taken care of.

(Ed. note - the alleged nasty words from Zizou to Rothen were “son of a whore”, which sounds awfully familiar).

Q: Your ex-teammate Emmanuel Petit wasn’t very nice to you either.

A: With Petit it’s the same thing, even worse because I know him so much better. I hate it when people aren’t honest, and he is being a hypocrite because he does the same thing as me. I do what I want with my life.

(Ed. note - Petit has accused Zidane of “chasing money” and only doing things in retirement for large companies/events).

Q: What do you think of “La Marseillaise” being whistled at the friendlies against Morocco and Tunisia?

A: I think it is an indefensible act.

Q (follow-up): Do you think it is a reflection of the difficulties in France regarding immigration and generational issues?

A: It’s like racism in the stands - it’s a few people (maybe 400 or 500) who are spoiling things. I don’t know how to stop it, but I don’t think that stopping the match is the solution. In fact, that might make things worse.

Q: Do you miss Les Bleus?

A: I will always miss the pitch. (Ed. note - notice he didn’t say that he would miss the team, as there is no love lost with Domenech). I am taking care of my family, which I haven’t been able to do for 17 years. But I will return to football, since it is what I do best.

Q: Yoann Gourcuff has been touted as your successor. Is that too much weight for anyone’s shoulders?

A: There will always be comparisons. Gourcuff has a brilliant future, and I love the fact that when he is on the pitch he is playing for the team.

Q: What are your impressions on the election of Barack Obama?

A: In France, people aren’t ready for a black president. In terms of success for the people, it’s easier to be an athlete or rapper (Ed. note - hey, just like the US!).

Q: Have you ever used a performance-enhancing drug?

A: When I was at Juventus, we all took creatine, which is prohibited in France but legal in Italy. I don’t think it was dangerous.

So there you have it. Zizou doesn’t care for the literary exploits of Rothen and Petit, thinks immigration in France is still a big issue but whistling the national anthem is disgraceful, feels that America has progressed further regarding civil rights, and popped creatine during his days at Juventus.

By far, the best part of the interview for me was the following:

“Est-ce que tu… est-ce que vous pensez… (Zidane l’interrompt : « Tu peux me tutoyer ». « Ah c’est cool, répond Djordje, je tutoie Zizou, t’as vu ! ».)”

This was from the person who asked him about “La Marseillaise.” In France, people use the “vous” form of “you” when speaking formally or to someone whom they don’t know, and the “tu” form when speaking informally or to someone they know well (although there are generational differences in these patterns, with youngsters more likely to use “tu” for everyone). So, basically, the reader starts to ask the question using the informal “tu”, catches himself and then starts over using “vous.” But Zizou interrupts him and tells him that he doesn’t have to be so formal, and the guy gets all giddy.

To be fair, if I were speaking face-to-face with Zizou and he said that to me, I think I would faint.

Written by Darkvader on December 8th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Les Bleus and The NY Kid and Zinedine Zidane and angry.

Ligue 1 Weekend Review

The big result of the weekend obviously goes to FC Nantes, who upset Ligue 1 leaders Lyon 2-1. Granted, Lyon were again missing Juninho and Benzema, and Nantes has already tied Marseille this season, but this was a truly shocking result for Claude Puel’s side.

Friday, December 5th:

Bordeaux 2-1 Valenciennes - In a match played early due to the Champions League tie against Roma on Tuesday, Bordeaux got the warm-up they needed, committing only 14 fouls and maintaining 63% of the possession. Valenciennes started more quickly, with Pujol getting off shots in the 9th (shot wide) and 24th (saved by Bordeaux GK Valverde) minutes. But it was Bordeaux who struck first in the 35th minute when a Jurietti free-kick went to Wendell, who passed to Chamakh for the easy header. Valenciennes equalized in the 43rd minute when a pass from Audel allowed Pujol to split 2 defenders and score easily. In the 45th minute Cavenaghi was denied by Valenciennes GK Penneteau, but 2 minutes later Cavenaghi had his revenge, scoring the winning goal. Valenciennes had 2 final chances to equalize, with Schmitz heading a Belmadi free-kick onto the post, and Mater being saved by Valverde.

Saturday, December 6th:

Caen 1-1 Rennes - Rennes dominated the match, but had to rely on a late goal to steal 1 point. In the first 3 minutes, a shot from Leroy was saved by Caen GK Plante, and Bocanegra hit the bar, but the rest of the first half was listless on both sides. In first-half stoppage time, Barzola’s cross found Nivet on the far post for an easy tap-in and 1-0 Caen lead. In the 50th minute Toudic should have doubled the score, as he was in 1-on-1, but Rennes GK Douchez made the save. Rennes finally broke through in the 77th minute when Sow (who was a 76th minute substitute) received an excellent pass from Briand for the clear finish.

Lille 1-1 Toulouse - It took until the very end of the match, but Lille remained unbeaten at home since opening day of the Ligue 1 season. Toulouse provided early, and consistent, pressure through Mathieu. Lille’s first good chance of the match came in the 37th minute when Obraniak sent his header wide, and 3 minutes later Bastos hit the post and then forced Toulouse GK Carrasso into a nice save. Toulouse finally broke the deadlock in the 64th minute when Didot’s free-kick fell nicely to Cetto, who promptly put the ball between Malicki’s legs. Lille equalized the match in stoppage time, on literally their last possible possession, when Bastos rocketed in a free-kick that beat the wall and Carrasso. Bastos was also immediately booked for taking off his jersey in celebration, but that’s not an acceptable way to earn the weekly award.

Marseille 2-1 Nice - The 2 clubs began the day equal on points, with Nice ahead on goal differential, but Marseille retook 2nd place in Ligue 1 with the win. They started the pressure early, with a shot from Zenden being tipped onto the bar by Nice GK Ospina in the 3rd minute. They struck early as well, with Ziani slotting home a free-kick in the 14th minute (although there was a hint that it may have been an OG from Echouafni). In the 32nd minute Zenden forced Ospina into another save, and the pressure paid off again in stoppage time of the first-half when Rool pulled on Valbuena’s shirt and Niang slotted home the resulting PK. Nice got 1 goal back at the start of the second-half, with Diakite directing a Hellebuyck free-kick to Bamogo, who slotted home his shot despite half of the Marseille defense standing around him. The remainder of the match was the Niang show, as he hit the post and was then forced off with an injury. Nice had 2 final chances, as Mouloungui was stopped by Mandanda in the 75th minute and Saada hit the crossbar in stoppage time.

Saint-Etienne 2-0 Havre - In a match featuring 2 clubs moving in opposite directions, Saint-Etienne demonstrated their improved play by committing only 8 fouls and holding 75% of the possession. Le Havre got the first shot on goal in the 5th minute, but Police was easily saved by Saint-Etienne GK Janot. After that it was Havre GK Revault who was kept busy, making wonderful saves on Matsui in the 17th minute and Gomis in the 36th minute. The first goal of the match came in the 75th minute when a Mirallas cross was volleyed into the net by Poyet. Revault made another save on Gomis in the 76th minute, but in the 80th minute Gomis received a brilliant pass from Mirallas for the second goal. For those scoring at home, Mirallas came on as a substitute in the 73rd minute and promptly had 2 assists in the next 7 minutes. That’s an effective decision from the gaffer.

Nantes 2-1 Lyon - In the match of the week, the minnows kept the Ligue 1 leaders busy despite only holding 41% of the possession. Lyon started quickly, with Piquionne forcing 2 saves from Nantes GK Alonzo in the first 5 minutes. He then broke through in the 43rd minute when a free-kick from Kallstrom was spilled by Alonzo directly to Piquionne’s feet, who scored the easy goal (and was awarded a yellow card in the 55th minute for this week’s “Goal-scorer to get carded” award). Nantes made a tactical substitution, bringin on Klasnic in the 59th minute, which immediately paid dividends in the 60th minute when Capoue stole the ball from Toulalan and shot on goal. Lyon GK Lloris made the save, but was only able to parry the ball as far as Klasnic, who put in the easy finish. Lyon’s nightmare was complete in the 89th minute when Gassama pulled down Bagoyoko in the box and Klasnic took the PK to finish his brace.

Sunday, December 7th:

Grenoble 0-0 Auxerre - As one would expect, the only nil-nil result of the weekend was a fairly boring match. The first good chance of the match came in the 13th minute when a Chafni free-kick was saved by Grenoble GK Wimbee. The only other chance of the first-half came in the 26h minute when Courtois stole the ball from Grichting and fed the pass to Moreira, who put his shot over the crossbar. In the 70th minute Hengbart sent in a cross which turned into a shot, and Wimbee was forced to make his second save of the match. Each club had one last chance, with a shot from Moreira saved by Auxerre GK Riou in the 74th minute, and Coulibaly putting a header off the post in the 89th minute for Grenoble.

Lorient 1-0 Nancy - Amalfitano and Gameiro provided all of the pressure that Lorient needed to secure the 3 points. Both hit the post in the first 10 minutes of the match, and Amalfitano also forced Nancy GK Gregorini to tip his shot over the crossbar. Nancy had only 1 shot in the first-half, but Chretien’s effort was easily stopped by Lorient GK Audard. The goal finally came in the 83rd minute when a cross from Abriel was volleyed home by Gameiro. In stoppage time Abriel was unable to double the lead as he shot wide, and Hadji could not rescue 1 point when Audard came up with another save.

Monaco 1-1 Sochaux - Monaco outplayed Sochaux throughout most of the match, but it was the latter club who had more shots on goal and they were able to hold on for 1 point. Sochaux scored early when Dalmat sent in a cross in the 9th minute and Santos took advantage of a defensive mistake to slot the ball home. Within the next 10 minutes, Park had 2 chances to equalize and on his first opportunity he was stopped by Sochaux GK Richert. Park’s second effort was blocked by a defender, but it deflected directly to Alonso who had an easy finish. In the 47th minute Sochaux should have taken the lead through Pitau, but Monaco GK Thuram made an outstanding save. Thuram made another great save on a Boudebouz free-kick just 3 minutes later, and Richert responded on the other end with a nice save on a Pokrivac free-kick. In stoppage time Pitau thought he had an easy path to the 3 points after dribbling 3 defenders, but Thuram managed a terrific 1-on-1 save to tip the ball around the post. Freddy Adu watch: 80th minute substitute, and he looked only semi-lost on the pitch this week.

Paris Saint-Germain - Le Mans - On a cold day in the capital, Paris Saint-Germain took the 3 points to move into 5th place in Ligue 1. PSG almost scored in the 3rd minute when Giuly played Rothen through, but the shot was directly at Le Mans GK Pele. The goal came in the 23rd minute when Sessegnon made a brilliant run and then fed Hoarau for the easy finish. Le Mans equalized in the 30th minute when Cerdan volleyed home Coutadeur’s free-kick. But Hoarau struck again in the 39th minute after a well-weighted pass from Giuly. Le Mans provided a little more pressure in the second-half, with Dossevi forcing PSG GK Landreau into a save and Maiga sending his shot just over the crossbar. Luyindula made sure of the 3 points in the 88th minute when he took the pass from Sessegnon for an easy finish.

So after Matchday 17, the top of the table looks like this: (1) Lyon, with 34 points on a 10-4-3 record and a +10 goal differential; (2) Marseille, with 31 points on an 8-7-2 record and a +12 goal differential; (3) Rennes, with 30 points on a 7-9-1 record and a +10 goal differential; and (4) Bordeaux, with 29 points on an 8-5-4 record and a +9 goal differential.

Written by Darkvader on December 7th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on Ligue 1 and Results and The NY Kid and le championnat.

Surprisingly, Vinnie Jones Became Violent

This guy became violent? Inconceivable!

Written by Darkvader on December 6th, 2008 with no comments.
Read more articles on The NY Kid and Vinnie Jones and Violence.